Venting I don’t know how much longer I can handle this.

[celestialstarzz]

My best friends suicide anniversary is very soon and I don't know how much longer I can be reminded of this. Once I'm 21 I might admit myself- assuming I can smoke while I'm in there. It feels like my last resort. I'm tired of feeling nauseous. I want to just sleep forever. going into work alone is a struggle but i've got college to worry about too. My partner tries their best to help but I don't know how much longer I can just talk things true. His dead body hangs in my mind, constantly. It's so hard to stay alive when I have my SN right there. I dont feel like it's worth all the stress of trying to heal. I don't know. I feel like I've been ready to die. I don't feel like I can succeed at anything anymore because of the trauma. I'm tired.

 

[deathisneeded]

You're lucky you have SN. I've been looking for it everywhere and can only find good grade SN. I want my pain to end now.

 

[EternalShore]

I'm very sorry to hear, celestialstarzz~ :( It's very unfortunate that their passing via sewer slide has led to you feeling the same way about yourself~ :( seeing something as horrific as that firsthand truly sounds so awful~ D: Having SN is such a comfort tho~ :) If the world becomes even worse and completely without hope, one may end their pain whenever they choose~ :) I really wish you could feel better~ :(