Venting i dont know how i exist or how anything exists and what everything means and nobody can answer that eitehr and i feel like vomiting

[maidens]

what am I? what are you? how am I here to think these thoughts? what is existence? am I existence? are you? I feel like what I call me isn't me and this isn't my life at all and I'm living someone else's life for the time being or something like that

I don't know how I exist, how anything exists, how I can't just stick my head out of the universe and escape, how what I see I look away from my phone screen is reality, what reality is, how anything exists, planets, space, time, reality

what was it like when nothing existed? surely not nothingness becwuse nothingness is something that exists anf if nothing exists there cannot be nothingness. can't be a black void becwuse that wouldn't have existed because a black void is a concept that exists and if nothing exists there cannot be things like that. there can't be anything

how did ANYTHING come to be? what the fuck? I feel trapped and gross and I feel like im not real and nothing around me exists but surely I exist becwuse if I don't bow do I think these thoughts help me help me help me please please I need to get out and escape but if I escaped from what we call the universe where would I go? how does anything exist help me help me help me there's no way things just can't happen because someone or something has to make things that exist. concepts like God can explain that but there is no god and if there is a god where did god come from? i feel so sick and trapepd and I needn6o get out but if I got out where the fuck would I go this isn't meant for me but what is meany for me? why am I me? why is everyone else them? how is everyone else them? what if I am everything? I can't be nothing but help me help me help help help me help me help me help me let me go

bit if I was let go where would I go?

 

[Hollowman]

No one knows where we go. I'm hoping I go nowhere.

 

[Ethel]

That's a lot of questions and no much of it can be answered. When I think about those stuffs,I get a big headache.
Until I decide to eat chocolate and cry lots till I'm calm again it's hard

 

[Forever Sleep]

So much of it is based on belief because, we don't have all the facts. For what it's worth, I'll summarize what I believe.

I'm not 100% convinced on this but, I see no reason why consciousness/ self awareness/ soul- whatever you want to call it develops as the brain does. Were you 'you' as a newborn baby? Did you have a fully developed sense of self back then? Surely not. You likely don't even have memories that far back. Initially, we seem to behave more like helpless animals living on instinct as babies. Why can't consciousness be just another ability that evolved? Like having an opposing thumb so we could grip things? I expect self awareness would give an animal an evolutionary edge over other animals.

If 'you' were born to anyone else's parents and had their upbringing- surely 'you' wouldn't be 'you' anymore. Who we develop to be is surely dependent on what genes we got landed with. How our parents or guardians raised us and whatever else we experienced in our lives. All of that affects our sense of self.

As to where the world came from, we do have evidence of 'the big bang' and all that. Personally, it feels more logical to me that there was always space with stuff floating about in it. Black holes fascinate me. I wonder if a bunch of stuff was in a black hole before the big bang. Imagine tons and tons of volatile substances being drawn into the middle of a black hole until it is under so much pressure that it explodes everything back out in new forms. That to me makes a sort of sense. Not that I'm well read in science or have any kind of proof.

Really though, stuff- even other life forms existed way before we did and will continue to exist long after we're gone. We just happen to have the ability to witness it.

That's my very unscientific view on it. I'm pretty open to things though. I'm not a complete cynic when it comes to spiritualism but I have big problems with orthodox religions and I have to wonder- in all the time that's expired. All the billions and billions of humans who have already died, wouldn't there be stronger proof for something like reincarnation (here at least) if it existed?