I don't hate life, I just hate the way it works

[kai2001]

I don't know how else to phrase it and this is more of a rambling post than anything else. But for the longest time, I kept saying "I hate life". I realised now that's not completely true. There are a few things I enjoy doing or experiencing, granted it's not a lot but it shows that there's theoretically potential for me to enjoy living. What I actually hate is the way life works, the circumstances under which we're living, and (I don't want this to become too political, please let's not make this a discussion about politics) perhaps capitalism? Let me explain.

I hate having been born into a system where I have to earn money to even afford existing, even though I never chose to be born. But if somebody decides that this system isn't for them, they aren't even given the option to leave it in a humane way, because for the system to work there need to be participants. I don't necessarily want to ctb, but I feel like I have no choice if I don't want to spend a third of my life working a job I don't give a single fuck about. I also don't want to found my own business or become a dropout of society. Call me lazy if you want, but I never chose to live this life and still I need to pay for it? And whenever I complain about it, people say "That's life, life is hard, accept it", as if that wasn't exactly the reason I hate existing like this.

Sorry for the rant, I just had to get this off my chest in a place where people won't (or at least not as many) immediately discard my opinion and give me the "nobody wants to work these days, gen z are so naive and lazy" treatment. Thanks for reading if you did

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I can relate to it in some ways ...

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, I absolutely agree. It may sound extreme to say it but we are basically born into slavery. There's no real choice for most people but to work. Pressures come from all areas- society, our peers, our parents. It's difficult to ignore those pressures. For me, it seems easier to bite the bullet and work rather than hear all those lectures.

Whenever I complain, my Dad will say: 'Well, I hated my job.' Like- that's the norm. I'm so tempted to say- 'So basically- you're admitting to have hated a third of your life... So- why did you think it was a good idea to have children? Did it not occur to you that they may also end up hating (at least) a third of their lives?'

I was actually fortunate in some ways but I also worked damn hard to do a job I at least found fulfilling. My work in fact used to be my life! My job is freelance though and it doesn't pay well. So, I'm at this weird limbo stage where I'm really just a soldier of fortune as to whether I continue with it and try and scrape by, or I find something else. I've reached a point where I care so much less now. I'm older (43.) My body is tired. There's not so much stuff I even want to spend money on. So- I'm basically working to sustain a life I don't even want to live. I agree with you- it all just sucks really.

 

[Homo erectus]

In the past, some societies were able to grow food, like potatoes, in their backyards. That provided some local autonomy. After the onset of large scale farming, such as rice, food production has become increasingly controlled by some central authority, societies more hierarchical, work increasingly detached from people's own life. People need to earn a living from working for other people. Life is meaningless for those who don't like their roles in the society.

 

[Davey36000]

You need to find work that you at least tolerate doing, in the best case scenario you love it and enjoy it and find it fulfilling.

Even if you do, doing it 8 hours every day (or more) might become a bit too much, and the pay may or may not be enough (depending on many factors like rent, debt, etc).

And even then it's still work, you have to show up every day, maybe have 20 days vacation every 6 months, knowing that the system is still rigged and there are thieves/corruption in the government, in corporations.

If you can, a part-time is better, it's a bit more balanced, but not everyone can do it for many reasons.

We suffer unnecessarily, as things could be much better.

There is excess of production from people's work, but a lot of it is stolen, and many on the top will say it's your fault for being poor or whatever.

 

[kai2001]

You need to find work that you at least tolerate doing, in the best case scenario you love it and enjoy it and find it fulfilling.

Yeah, that's how most people do it. I just feel like I don't have the energy for that anymore. I've worked two jobs, both part-time and both only for 6 and 9 months respectively. I wasn't passionate about either of them to begin with, but at least the second one seemed bearable at first - but I quickly grew tired of it and only did it for the money (which, again, I only need because I was forced into a life I never asked for). Well, at least yesterday I finally found the courage to quit, though now I don't know what to do with my life.

I wish I could say I was passionate about something, I had a career that always interested me since I was a child and I was just too afraid to pursue it, but I don't. Nothing to do with work even remotely excites me, and it's actually so sad to think about how many people hate their own jobs and just accept it as something normal, something to "just deal with". Even my therapist gave me a lecture last session about how "things get hard sometimes, that's how life works and everyone goes through that". And I really had to resist the urge to just tell her "Well yeah, that's why I want to die".

It's sad that ctb seems like the only way out, because as I said earlier there are a few enjoyable aspects about life. For example the idea of travelling is something that at least intrigues me - I don't know if I'd enjoy it, since I never travelled abroad as a kid, but I would like to try it. But well, I don't have the money nor the will to earn it, so I'll never achieve that

 

[Davey36000]

Yeah, that's how most people do it. I just feel like I don't have the energy for that anymore. I've worked two jobs, both part-time and both only for 6 and 9 months respectively. I wasn't passionate about either of them to begin with, but at least the second one seemed bearable at first - but I quickly grew tired of it and only did it for the money (which, again, I only need because I was forced into a life I never asked for). Well, at least yesterday I finally found the courage to quit, though now I don't know what to do with my life.

I wish I could say I was passionate about something, I had a career that always interested me since I was a child and I was just too afraid to pursue it, but I don't. Nothing to do with work even remotely excites me, and it's actually so sad to think about how many people hate their own jobs and just accept it as something normal, something to "just deal with". Even my therapist gave me a lecture last session about how "things get hard sometimes, that's how life works and everyone goes through that". And I really had to resist the urge to just tell her "Well yeah, that's why I want to die".

It's sad that ctb seems like the only way out, because as I said earlier there are a few enjoyable aspects about life. For example the idea of travelling is something that at least intrigues me - I don't know if I'd enjoy it, since I never travelled abroad as a kid, but I would like to try it. But well, I don't have the money nor the will to earn it, so I'll never achieve that

I don't have an answer in regards to work (except maybe less hours? Try finding a job you can work 4-6 hours, as 8 seems a bit excessive. In Germany they only work 6 instead of 8 and they seem to be doing just fine) , but in regards to travelling, you could always do it low budget. Do it by hiking, only bring enough money for food (maybe if you're lucky you can forage some wild fruit/plants).
Bring a tent.
Or if you have a car you can sleep in the car. Of course I'm talking about countryside hiking/travelling, just in nature, as it's dangerous to sleep outside in the cities.
Not sure where you're from but it's feasible in many parts of the world.
Also meditation helps a lot and keeping in mind that even shitty moments are also temporary. But other than this I don't really know an answer.

 

[love_peep]

you don't need to apologize to speak out here, but I'm really sorry that you feel and go through this. This path that I didn't even choose broke me by the age of 19.

 

[FuneralCry]

Your feelings really are understandable, I do wish there was acceptance towards the fact that not everyone wishes to suffer here, we shouldn't be expected to endure this existence we were burdened with in the first place no matter what, it should always be a personal choice whether to continue or not.

 

[bunsïy]

This is something I always find myself thinking. I've never had many passions or interest in things. During high school whenever I was asked what my future plans were I never had an answer since I didn't have any (also didn't think I'd live past 18 lol). Now I'm 20 still here, unemployed living with my mother. I don't really want to die but I don't really want to live either, basically just existing.

Money/work is the one thing constantly on my mind. I feel guilty making my mother still support me. But at the same time I can barely get out of bed some days so I doubt I'd be able to maintain a full time job. I sometimes find myself wishing I'd win the lottery then that way I wouldn't be such a burden. I could just exist doing the very few things that make life tolerable for me without worrying about money then maybe I wouldn't think so much about ctb. Sorry if this is a lot lol just felt like I could relate

 

[jbear824]

The fact that every aspect of life is tied to working is just infinitely stupid and cruel. I can't work and am now facing long term, possibly permanent homelessness because of my inability to work.

Where are the alternate options for those of us that don't want to participate or can't, in this system? Why is it work or die? And then if we choose die, we're also not allowed access to quick, painless methods. if we can't partake in the capitalism then we are condemned to agony. This alone makes me believe we deserve the planet ending meteor to come anytime now.

Humans really have chosen to live in a profoundly stupid way.

 

[kai2001]

I don't have an answer in regards to work (except maybe less hours? Try finding a job you can work 4-6 hours, as 8 seems a bit excessive. In Germany they only work 6 instead of 8 and they seem to be doing just fine) , but in regards to travelling, you could always do it low budget. Do it by hiking, only bring enough money for food (maybe if you're lucky you can forage some wild fruit/plants).
Bring a tent.
Or if you have a car you can sleep in the car. Of course I'm talking about countryside hiking/travelling, just in nature, as it's dangerous to sleep outside in the cities.
Not sure where you're from but it's feasible in many parts of the world.
Also meditation helps a lot and keeping in mind that even shitty moments are also temporary. But other than this I don't really know an answer.

4 to 6 hours are already the amount I work at my current job (that I'm currently quitting though), it's still overwhelming me unfortunately. And I'm from Germany, it's still pretty common here for full-time jobs to be 8 hours so I'm not sure about that. It just sucks having to decide between giving up your free time and overworking yourself for more money, or having a bit more time for yourself and overworking yourself a little bit less, but for a wage that barely keeps you afloat.

I already travelled low budget once, it was fine but I currently don't have the funds to do even that again. And to be honest, I'm just not an outdoorsy kind of traveller.

It's alright, I guess nobody has the ultimate answer, otherwise there wouldn't be millions of depressed people out there. Thanks for trying to help anyway

This is something I always find myself thinking. I've never had many passions or interest in things. During high school whenever I was asked what my future plans were I never had an answer since I didn't have any (also didn't think I'd live past 18 lol). Now I'm 20 still here, unemployed living with my mother. I don't really want to die but I don't really want to live either, basically just existing.

Money/work is the one thing constantly on my mind. I feel guilty making my mother still support me. But at the same time I can barely get out of bed some days so I doubt I'd be able to maintain a full time job. I sometimes find myself wishing I'd win the lottery then that way I wouldn't be such a burden. I could just exist doing the very few things that make life tolerable for me without worrying about money then maybe I wouldn't think so much about ctb. Sorry if this is a lot lol just felt like I could relate

This is exactly how I felt 3 years ago. I did nothing after high school for a year and I felt so guilty and useless. In 2021, I finally wanted to stop feeling this way, so I hastily threw myself into the "adult life". I started studying (which I now regret. I skip all my classes and haven't been to a lecture in over half a year, but I haven't left uni yet because I don't know what else to do) and got one part-time job, then another one that I also just quit. And see where all of this got me, I wanna ctb and see no future in which I'd actually be happy.

It's not too much, this is what we're in this forum for. Thanks for sharing, it feels good to be understood

The fact that every aspect of life is tied to working is just infinitely stupid and cruel. I can't work and am now facing long term, possibly permanent homelessness because of my inability to work.

Where are the alternate options for those of us that don't want to participate or can't, in this system? Why is it work or die? And then if we choose die, we're also not allowed access to quick, painless methods. if we can't partake in the capitalism then we are condemned to agony. This alone makes me believe we deserve the planet ending meteor to come anytime now.

Humans really have chosen to live in a profoundly stupid way.

I'm so sorry. I wish I had comforting words other than that I agree with every single word you said, but I don't. I totally understand you though

 

[mono]

This post explains exactly how I feel.