Venting I don't get people who are not like this

[notanormalguy]

I just seriously do not get it, to me ctbing feels like the best and only real solution to every problem. People say "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" well first of all my problems are not temporary and second of all suicide is the only real solution to ALL problems, when you are dead you can't think or experience any pain at all. I guess its probably because most people believe in afterlife and they think that if you try your best you go to heaven and if you ctb you go to hell, but I have never been able to get myself to believe in that even though I was taught to growing up and even when I tried to it gave me terrible anxiety and made me want to ctb out of shame for being a sinner lmao. Most people seem to just enjoy life on a fundamental level I guess, but that just isn't me. Being an autist makes everything uncomfortable. I hate breathing, I hate shitting, I even hate the feeling of things people think are great and make life look living like sex and laughter, drinking and parties. The world is random and cruel, I guess some of us are just gonna suffer our whole lives.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I agree.

Also all the things they say i have to enjoy don't compare to something horrible like being skinned alive and left like that alive for days . Similar hells can happen if most of skin burned off in an accidental or on purpose fire . To me that's even worse as they can keep you alive for decades in nursing homes in that terrible state .As if watching an "enjoyable" click bait video or eating a sandwich were worth that hell

They can burn my body after I die and I won't feel a thing because i don't exist forever after my brain dies. The reason I can feel unbearable pain is only because I'm Alive and my brain can suffer unlimited excruciating pain : why is that so good?