Venting i don’t find joy in anything

[huntermellow]

nothing makes me happy. i can't even participate in my interests and i can't remember the last time i actually enjoyed doing something i liked. i just rewatch the same shows all the time because i can't start anything new. i can't play any games cos it just feels like a chore. all i do is lay in bed and sleep and eat and watch the same shit over and over except i'm not even really watching it it's just used as background noise. i've been like this for so long. everything feels like a chore. there's literally nothing fun about living. everyday is the same. life isn't supposed to be like this. medication and therapy won't just suddenly make me start enjoying life and my hobbies. i'm all alone and i have nothing and no one keeping me here. going outside doesn't even make me feel better. what's the point if i have no one to do things with? this whole year has been so shit and it's not even over yet. the last time i was truly happy was january 10th and i'll never have that again

 

[Imcantbreathe]

You're schedule sounds a lot like mine, I don't leave my house anymore. I just stay in bed all day so I can truly relate

 

[emoplugg]

completely the same here. its gotten to the point where i find myself actively disgusted doing things. i'll try and watch a youtube video and i'll just...feel sick, i don't know. i always end up just laying in bed all day, scrolling instagram or watching youtube for 5-10 minute intervals before going back to laying down and listening to music. any time i play to play games ends within seconds honestly, i can't even get past the main menu anymore hahaha

i'm also incredibly lonely, i lost almost all of my friends due recent life events, so if you'd like to PM me (once i gain access to that, my account is still too new) and talk i'm open for it ^^

 

[JaegerCA]

Same, only way I can play games is if someone asks me to. I find something in crying to sad VNs and shows, but past that, can't really feel anything.

 

[huntermellow]

completely the same here. its gotten to the point where i find myself actively disgusted doing things. i'll try and watch a youtube video and i'll just...feel sick, i don't know. i always end up just laying in bed all day, scrolling instagram or watching youtube for 5-10 minute intervals before going back to laying down and listening to music. any time i play to play games ends within seconds honestly, i can't even get past the main menu anymore hahaha

i'm also incredibly lonely, i lost almost all of my friends due recent life events, so if you'd like to PM me (once i gain access to that, my account is still too new) and talk i'm open for it ^^

the bed rotting has gotten so bad that if i walk even a normal amount my back and legs start hurting so much… i cry so loudly in bed my parents keep asking me what's wrong with me but i can't tell them. i wish i could just forget everything bad that's happened

 

[Imcantbreathe]

I can relate, I tend to cry under the covers so no one comes to check because I don't want to have to respond to pressuring questions when everyone knows my depression is getting worse by the day. I'm having those same back and neck pains when I walk around my house I believe I have horrendous posture now

 

[AbusedInnocent]

I was feeling exactly the same way like 2 months ago so I completely understand what you're going through, I've only gotten slightly better since then and it's probably going to get worse again very soon.

 

[aipuweth]

Yeah, same. I don't have anything to do but I'm even too lazy to do something in game, lol. And I don't understand the point of "going outside" shit. Should I go outside to see those bunch of disgusting human? Nah. I'd rather to rot in my room. Maybe it's only beatiful in winter, when there's less people.

 

[huzzahhue56]

same, it feels like im barely alive with the motions I'm going through everyday. I feel as though I'm not real at all. I don't really feel anything, I dont feel happy, sad etc. I'm just lost in my maladaptive dissociation and delusions everyday.

 

[DrearyAsh348]

same, it feels like im barely alive with the motions I'm going through everyday. I feel as though I'm not real at all. I don't really feel anything, I dont feel happy, sad etc. I'm just lost in my maladaptive dissociation and delusions everyday.

Same here. I feel honestly numb most of the time. No clue what to do about it :(

 

[SoulWhisperer]

I feel that but on a different scale. I only have "enjoyment" from playing games or doing what I like, but if I take a bigger look at the picture, life itself doesn't bring me any thrill, happiness or curiosity. When I think about my life and where I am I only see fear, darkness and terror. I questioned what people live for and I couldn't amount to anything more than "get a job, sex, family and money". That type of life doesn't suit me, it doesn't give me any motivation to strive for that, I am too broken for a normal life. I live for what I like and hope to get a method to CTB.