Venting I don't feel like the person I used to be

[memataporfavor]

Lately I feel something's changed. I havent been feeling like myself. I think's bc another "wave of depression" is coming, Ive always been able to feel it coming, but this time, my apathy is disturbing me more than usual. I think it's probably bc i'm more self aware cuz I'm in a relationship, so every action of mine has a direct effect on another person's feelings.
I have bpd so my notion of self is already pretty fucked up, I'm not sure who is this person I used to be that I'm missing, but I'm sure something's not right and I'm really scared my significant other will stop loving me bc I'm no longer the person he fell with.
I don't know if I'm making any sense, I just need to vent.
When I try to vent about this to other people they act like I'm crazy and ok, I may be but I know something has changed inside of me, something does not seem right. Am I alone feeling like this?? Did I make any sense at all?

 

[dontwannadie]

you're not alone. i've been feeling lost for a few months now and it gets hard trying to understand my emotions. maybe trying to do things your old self did will make you feel better and/or going to therapy with your significant other to discuss how you feel with professional help around. i hope you feel better and feel more like your old self eventually

 

[Xebsora29]

Lately I feel something's changed. I havent been feeling like myself. I think's bc another "wave of depression" is coming, Ive always been able to feel it coming, but this time, my apathy is disturbing me more than usual. I think it's probably bc i'm more self aware cuz I'm in a relationship, so every action of mine has a direct effect on another person's feelings.
I have bpd so my notion of self is already pretty fucked up, I'm not sure who is this person I used to be that I'm missing, but I'm sure something's not right and I'm really scared my significant other will stop loving me bc I'm no longer the person he fell with.
I don't know if I'm making any sense, I just need to vent.
When I try to vent about this to other people they act like I'm crazy and ok, I may be but I know something has changed inside of me, something does not seem right. Am I alone feeling like this?? Did I make any sense at all?

You're not alone.

I used to be an individual that was committed, dedicated, striving my best, and attempting to be successful/positive. These days, its quite the opposite. As of now, I'm not sure who I am, can't recall the reason why I was the prior person I used to be, and so forth. There's a lingering sense of uncertainty thats well ingrained inside of me and I'm aware that I have lost sight of myself.

You and me both my friend, feeling similar.

 

[memataporfavor]

you're not alone. i've been feeling lost for a few months now and it gets hard trying to understand my emotions. maybe trying to do things your old self did will make you feel better and/or going to therapy with your significant other to discuss how you feel with professional help around. i hope you feel better and feel more like your old self eventually

we still do the same things, my routine is exactly the same. and my bf is very supportive, he says i'm still the same, i still make him laugh, he's still very much in love w me. I go to therapy weekly for 4 years now... but no matter how I try to explain to people or to approach the subject (I suck at start talking abt my issues on therapy, I have a hard time talking abt my feelings face to face), no one sees this change, but I feel it. I feel this emptyness that has changed me to a way I don't even know how to pretend to be how I used to anymore. I can't pretend interest or start conversation or idk im not that person... im not me

You're not alone.

I used to be an individual that was committed, dedicated, striving my best, and attempting to be successful/positive. These days, its quite the opposite. As of now, I'm not sure who I am, can't recall the reason why I was the prior person I used to be, and so forth. There's a lingering sense of uncertainty thats well ingrained inside of me and I'm aware that I have lost sight of myself.

You and me both my friend, feeling similar.

I hope it's just a bad phase for me and you, my friend...

 

[AintNoWayOut]

physical pain has literally changed me as a person. im just an empty husk of a human now. any personality or charisma i once had is gone, and everyone in my life has noticed and misses "the old me". the pain has defined who i am, and its the worst feeling in the world. "the old me" is still there, but i cant express it. im unable to act or reflect the way i feel inside, im just fucking locked in here.