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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,350
Recently there were debates in my country about assisted suicide. They often said suicidal people could feel like a burden for society or loved ones and feel forced to end their existence because of that. I don't know whether this applies to many suicidal people. I cannot make a statement about that. Though personally I absolutely don't think in such a way.

My family abused me for more than a decade. These morrons should pay as much as they can for me. We are in the same boat though. I don't have any guilty conscience at all. I am very dependent on their help but I don't give a fuck. You made me that wreck now it is pay time. (sadly it does not work that. If they were billionaires this would be a different story.)

The society! Fuck the society. I was bullied and abused by so many people. If my health bills ruin the German health care system so be it. I don't give a fuck. I think welfare should be increased by a lot for cases like mine. Or in general. There is way too much inequality. I think this society is in many instances survivial of the fittest. I am clearly not the fittest though I exploit the system as good as I can. (still abiding the law though.) Maybe exploiting is not a good word. The German state payed a lot for my mental health and I don't give a fuck. They should pay me one million at least or all the mental pain that the abuse caused. No teacher at school helped me against the bullies. No social worker intervened when I was victim of domestic violence as a child. I cried every single day at primary school and showed signs of OCD. No teacher suspected anything. As I said the state should have the deceny after all these failures to offer me a peaceful escape. It should be my fucking right after all of that shit. And instead I am offered some warm words to change my perspective on life etc.

Personally I think it is not healthy to view onself as a burden. Though i don't want to invalidate the feelings of others. I can especially not relate to having a guilty conscience towards the society. We live in capitalism everyone looks for their profits. If I was homeless the people would look away from my misery so that their day is not ruined. Why should I care about their feelings or financial issues when I am the fucked one by the system? The state should help people. Free health care, free education (also higher) a right to die (without paying several thousand euros that most ill people cannot afford) should be a human right. Welfare should be higher so that a good way to live is possible.

The assisted suicide debate in my country still haunts me till this day. I would feel such a mental relief if I knew in case everything backfires there is a potential way out of it in peace and dignity. I think psychologically this is very important for many suicidal people. And probably one reason why this forum is so popular.

I don't want to offend anyone who feels like a burden. If I did that I apologize. This venting is my way to cope with my personal hell. Maybe my words were too harsh.
 
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AriasRed

AriasRed

Member
Jul 6, 2023
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Feeling like a burden doesn't have to be the only reason one wishes to CTB. I often feel like a burden and like a weak being who cannot survive society at all, despite being here in a place of privilege. This, unfortunately, doesn't make me think any less of myself and I still feel like I'm just taking up the space that other people should deserve more. It is one thing that I am still working on improving as this thought process causes a lot of pain.

I honestly hate how society makes us believe that we owe it instead of otherwise even if we suffer a lot because of that.
 
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