U
unabletocope
I'd like to shut down
- Mar 13, 2024
- 728
haven't eaten for 2 days. not sure if i could take SN and meto in my current state. potentially a possibility. there's a feeling of non existence, i feel it generally but it just hit me that little bit more, it got through. i never existed, i was a nobody, a loser, a transient in life. i never mattered to anyone. other people developed into something, i developed into nothing. now I am deteriorating, running around and circling everything. what's the point if that's all you can be in life? i used to care about other people, not to the extent of myself but i cared, i wanted to be there for them, to develop with them. i realise now i was meaningless so it comes to this. i stand by the view that when the time is right, something clicks and you do what you need to do. it hasn't clicked for me yet but i know it will, i accepted in february i would kill myself, i still think i will be dead by august, i just can't see my way out yet. suicide is my call, i will take it into my own hands, when you know you are on your own and feel overwhelmed by your reality that's all you need, there's no perfect method. maybe i will reincarnate, probably not, who cares. my life was a waste, no one is coming through now.