Venting I don't deserve to breathe.

[Ε. Η. R.]

I don't deserve to breathe. I've made too many mistakes in my life. I betrayed myself, my essence, my core. I feel ugly. I don't want to look at myself in the mirror. I was beautiful, but I feel that I will never be able to get even close to my past self.

The nonhumans who ruined my life and brought me to this are still alive. I would like to take revenge on everyone who took part in this. Or as much as possible to those whom I can reach. But living another year or two with the feelings that I described in the first paragraph is too, too hard. I feel unbearably bad. Besides, I'll be in russians news, with the appearance I have now, which I don't like so much.

I want to take revenge on the scums, but I am so disgusted with myself - internally, externally. I will think about it every day, almost constantly, within a year or two. It is unbearable. I'm in a cage.

 

[DeadHead]

I also have feelings of intense rage for people who stole my life. I would like to self publish a book (apparently its easy on amazon) telling my story so a record exists when I'm no longer here. I just don't know if I have the strength.
Would writing a book be an option for you? To tell your story and name and shame the bustards.

 

[Ε. Η. R.]

I also have feelings of intense rage for people who stole my life. I would like to self publish a book (apparently its easy on amazon) telling my story so a record exists when I'm no longer here. I just don't know if I have the strength.
Would writing a book be an option for you? To tell your story and name and shame the bustards.

First of all: bastards, scums don't know what shame is.
My story goes on for many years. Started in April 2018. And, of course, I talked to my enemies. Just like with my "ex", my friends, who betrayed me. The traitors knew everything. It is foolish to think that they will feel shame.
Besides, my main enemy died in the summer of 2021. On drugs, alcohol. With impunity.
To publish such a book would be a disgrace for me, as a complete failure.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I know that feeling of intense hatred all too well.
I actually dug a grave for my paedophile stepfather and planned to end his evil existence.
My sister talked me out of it.
Sometimes I wish she hadn't.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

It takes a lot to be fairly said to not deserve to live on this Earth. Whatever mistakes you may have made I have trouble believing you have reached that point.

 

[umopep!sdn128]

I also have a person who ruined my life. And the most interesting thing is that this asshole probably lives a "good" life. I used to want to kill him, but now I don't care. It is very sad that no one is born with self-hatred, but this disgusting society can humiliate a person so much that he can begin to hate himself. Fuck them! You are the best for yourself.

 

[Ε. Η. R.]

I also have a person who ruined my life. And the most interesting thing is that this asshole probably lives a "good" life. I used to want to kill him, but now I don't care.

Why did you change your mind?
Does this nonhuman deserve to live, especially a happy, after what he did to yours?

 

[umopep!sdn128]

Why did you change your mind?
Does this nonhuman deserve to live, especially a happy, after what he did to yours?

Because I'm weak-willed and I can't do anything about it :( This story is from high school, almost 10 years have passed. He was a good friend and even more to me, but he betrayed me, and then he and his friends mocked me. What can I do, typical a person adapted to this life, and for this you need to be a scoundrel and be able to go over the heads of other people... I don't trust people after that and don't start relationships, but I almost forgave him.

 

[Ε. Η. R.]

@DeadHead, @umopep!sdn128
By forgiving a nonhuman, you claim him in impunity.


@umopep!sdn128
You don't have to be a scoundrel to take revenge.
I was so stupid that I trusted people and agreed to friendship even after the worst betrayal of my life. And I was betrayed again.
I'm telling you, I don't deserve to live because of such foolishness.

 

[DeadHead]

@DeadHead, @umopep!sdn128
By forgiving a nonhuman, you claim him in impunity.


@umopep!sdn128
You don't have to be a scoundrel to take revenge.
I was so stupid that I trusted people and agreed to friendship even after the worst betrayal of my life. And I was betrayed again.
I'm telling you, I don't deserve to live because of such foolishness.

I never said anything about forgiveness. I believe in an eye for an eye.

 

[Ε. Η. R.]

I believe in an eye for an eye.

Me too.

I never said anything about forgiveness.

Sorry. I wanted to answer this @Nembutal dreams.