I don’t care about emotional abuse or morality

[TimeLawyer]

I just say what I want to say and do what I want regardless of peoples feelings. I don't have any inclination or desire to stop. I know how to tell. when someone is hurt but I just need to say what is on my mind, the "will people be hurt" filter most folks use just feels opressive to me. Nobody has ever hit me, raped me or been extroadinatilt mean to me, yet everyone keeps saying there is a "real me" who wants to please everyone and that this "real self" has been obscured by trauma and what I call me is just a bunch of unhealthy coping mechanisms and deep down I want to please everyone and never hurt anyone ever. I dont believe that is a natural way for me or many humans to exist. I am "too human" I don't want to "grow" "change" "go to therapy" "manage emotions" or "cope" those concepts seem foreign and oppressive to me. I wish to just "be", like animals do, and not have million things I have to fight myself not to be. I don't want to grow and change and fight human nature not to hurt people. Perhaps I am just evil or a plain old jerk and not sick or mentally ill. Or mentally ill and evil at the same time. Person AND a problem. I don't even want to spare peoples feelings. Am I just too far gone and shouldnt live because it feels like that. Christianity couldn't save me and psychology couldn't either, in fact it feels less able to save me, like it's all we have now that religion isn't as popular. Idk if I believe in its constructs, and I couldnt care less if my thoughts are "logical" or "rational" most of the time. That is another thing I'm told I have to be for the sake of others. I just can't anymore.

 

[finish.me]

honestly? this is probably okay. i'd argue that empathy is very human though and it's unnatural to grow up disconnected from it, but even if it is out of the norm or unnatural doesn't mean it doesn't happen, or that its neccesarily evil. like, someone being born with a sixth finger. it's just a rare thing. sometimes people just grow up and aren't concerned with other people. you can totally just 'be'. as long as you're content with not having interpersonal relationships or shit like that then it isn't a big deal, it's your life, live it how you want to live it.

but just food for thought, sometimes our brains don't make the right chemicals, sometimes the smallest interaction can cause trauma regardless how insignificant you think it is, shit with genetics, etc, there might be another reason for you experiencing life the way you do that isn't just.. happening to be a certain way. what you're describing mostly sounds different from this but not caring is one thing, and actively engaging to hurt people and enjoying it is definitely an illness that needs attention, and if thats something you don't relate to and if you've explored everything here and you're still at this conclusion where you genuinely think this is just apart of who you are, then i'd say alright. just tell people straight up that you don't care so you don't have to put yourself (and other people) through unneccesary interactions (and pain, for the other person)

 

[enau]

it only a problème depending of your thoughts or how your mind think or depending of you relationship( if people looks like you or not for exemple).. if you have normal thoughts you wont really hurt anything else than ego of people.. but i you have horrid thoughts, it could be an issue even for you.x) my only online "friends" alaways said everything they had in mind, it was really fun, but eventualy EVEN in these case , there is a days where you disagree or you feel really hurt by something, or the personn just want to agress you , because everyone has shitty days, and be punchingball of someone just cause they want to say what'is on their mind is no acceptable if youre not a masochist, and you answers and this is the circle of toxic or shitty relations ship.if someone want to say and be everything they think , are without too much restrain they have to prepare to hear the same of others.. and often , its not accepted, + you cant have intimate or strong connexion with someone if you dont care a minimum for the feelings and mind of the personn

 

[demuic]

It sounds like you're not different than most people.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

I'm the exact opposite of you. I'm a people pleaser. Even though I sometimes think I do this because I want so desperately to be accepted, and I'm not being accepted all the same, there is a part of me that genuinely wants to please people, make them comfortable, makes them smile, give them a sense of security. I am like that, always have been.
If I just "was", without the agenda, this would be the man that I am supposed to be. A helper, a friend. I'm too good. Now, I know that you should look at someone who claims that with suspicion - it could be just a ruse, or plain self-denial. But I know who I am, and I know what I was supposed to be, if I was allowed to just "be".
I need people, I need acceptance, but what I need the most, is to give. This is my element. Being a giver.
And that's why me being so bad causes so much traction and distress and makes me do things in spite of myself. So I became like you. Blunt and indifferent. Cause fuck it all. The world won't accept my true self, so I will give it what it wants, what it expects, what it deserves.
But I don't feel good about it. Not at all.