I don’t and do want to get an abortion

[lynnschronicles]

I'm pregnant and in my opinion, the morally correct decision is to abort. There's so many awful and devastating things that could happen to anyone at any given time. This world is so full of potential suffering and pain. I cannot ethically let myself subject another person to this.

I know that it's my decision. I'm not asking anyone to choose for me. But please, I'm begging you. Despite that this might be a fucked up ask, I need to hear it. If you feel comfortable to, tell me if you wish to have been aborted, or how much you wish to have never been born.

Having been suicidal myself, that should be enough to deter me from going through with this pregnancy. But I feel like there's a mental block preventing me from terminating it. I'm not even excited to have our child anymore with this in the forefront of my mind when thinking about it. Yet I guess that I must still want them.

Thank you so much in advance for your help and/or support

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

My mother wanted to abort me. My father forced her not to. And he lorded that over me for his entire life--bringing up that he saved me, that Mom was a bitch who wanted to kill me, etc. He thought it would turn me against her and make me love him; it only made me hate him instead. She should've been able to abort me and I hate that that choice was taken away from her.

 

[developic]

Life is giving you a chance but it's inner feeling makes sense more sometimes choice what was right for you if they can give you love which you more forever in your heart

 

[me_when_:D]

I would say it depends on your situation, if you can give a child pretty okay life, I think it's fine to give birth.
In my mother's situation it was both outside factors and her inability to be a parent that makes me think I should have been aborted.
Like being in 2004-2005 (after USSR collapsed that destroyed the economy) Ukraine a single mother of 10-11 year old and marrying/conceiving with a prisoner, abortion is pretty no brainer tbh.

Like I could even look over abuse and keep living, but she really did mismanage my potential in my young years and then blames me for it.
She expected that kids can parent themselves out of miserable life, which didn't happen.

You seem like you more thoughtful about this, this is already more care than a lot of other people give parenting.
But be careful who you listen to, people who never seen mental struggle have hard time comprehending just how much can go wrong.
My mother made a mistake of listening to people like that.

Idk about this forum, there are some struggling people whose advice is not exactly worth following,
I was one of them at some points of my life (maybe even now).

 

[Eliska]

Well I would like to give you advice but unfortunately this is a decision nobody can do for you. You will have to live with it no matter what you decide. I just wish you do the right one.

 

[Dejected 55]

I know it isn't what you want to hear, OP, but Eliska nailed the only response that anyone else can really give to you. It has to be your decision. I hope that the father is part of the decision and wants to be part of the decision, but at the end of the day it has to be your decision. You aren't even going to know how you will feel about it until later, no matter which way you decide it will not fully land until much later. Even if you have had an abortion before, there is no guarantee you will feel the same making the same decision as before OR making a different one. It is all going to land on you to make the decision, and all will land on you later when you realize how your decision makes you feel.

As I said, I hope the father is part of the decision process. He is the only other person who really has a meaningful stake in this besides you. I also hope that whatever your decision, he remains part of your life and still there to support you afterwards as well.

 

[concession]

I wish I was aborted so much right now. In 10 years, who knows?

I also think that you should get this question in front of other audience, people active on suicide forum will obviously be biased towards death

 

[Malfunction]

If it were me, not that it's possible, I wouldn't because:

- I'm not financially capable of taking care of another life for the rest of mine.

- I'm not able to provide the nuturing environment for a child.

- I have no support network to help me better myself so that I can care for another life.

- I didn't have the background to prepare me for taking care of a child.

- I don't want to pass my conditions onto a child.

But that is me. Not you. No one can really guide your thoughts on this, and you shouldn't take my reasons to heart because you may have strive better than I could ever have. Your partner's opinion matters more than mine. Assuming there is one.

I would point out though, that the answers you get here may very well be one sided because many here regret being born, myself included. So just keep that in mind, and don't let it guide your decision.


If you are able to provide and care for a child and have the support you need to achieve it, then having a child may be the best thing that ever happened to you. You will have someone to love and protect and help guide to becoming an exceptional human being. Not only making you proud of them, but proud of yourself for having accomplished it.

If you have the above, you can raise a child with love and kindness. For if you do this, even if you aren't perfect, that child will love you in return. I know people that started with issues, came from broken families, yet raised beautiful and intelligent children, some even being homeschooled which really showed not only their intelligence but maturity being higher than their peers. It can be done, I think you have to be honest with yourself, ask yourself if you can do this, don't let doubt cloud your judgement. Perhaps you could create a list of questions to ask yourself, and answer them thoughtfully. If you have a partner, they might add reassurance to your questions, and in such create a plan together.

I wish and hope that things turn out well for you no matter your decision, that you can heal and that you can live a life of good health and prosperity.

 

[dontwakemeup]

I'm not here to persuade you because it's ultimately your decision. I will say this, if there is any doubt now, you probably will regret after also.

The financial aspects of raising a child is challenging but as parents we will make a way! My children have never starved, now I have, but never them.

I love my children but to be honest, I wish I never had them. I'm mentally too far gone and can barely hold myself together, they didn't deserve this. All I can do is try.

My children make me happy, make me cry, both have fought me (without me hitting back) and it's been a roller-coaster! I can't blame all this on them because I was mentally unprepared to have kids to begin with.

I would suggest you think long and hard. Imagine if the father walked away for good, can you handle it? When your mental health is poor, you won't be able to quit. You can to decide what's best for you. I've had an abortion and never regretted it. Yes, I've been sad a few times but overall, I'm glad I made that decision. I don't care what others think, it was the best decision for me! Best wishes to you. If you have any questions, I'm always here.