I do not know how to get up the courage.

[Justnotme]

I was waiting for a vacation from work to make up my mind and leave this world.
But I realize that I still can't muster up the courage.
I'm afraid. I'm afraid it's going to hurt, that something's going to go wrong.
I have dirty street methadone, which is made of shit, so it can no longer be called methadone.
I have a rope and sodium nitrite.
And fear.
I gave myself 14 days to decide.
And what is the result?
As a result, I will go back to meaningless work and I will return to this cycle again: home-work. Home. Work. Home. Work.
And nothing else.
Because I don't want anything. I don't want to be in this world.
But I'm just going crazy because something might go wrong and I'll suffer during the dying process.
But even now I am suffering a lot mentally!!

I'm so tired...
I just want to cry and talk about my pain.

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

survival instinct is the only reason I'm still here as well. I hope you find your peace, good luck