I did something stupid

[andy69]

I did something stupid yesterday. My partner of fifteen years broke up with me all the sudden when he met another man. Instead of telling me about it he ghosted me for two weeks and finally answered the phone to say what he did. We had a couple of phone calls and texts since then, usually initiated by me. But he will reply.

Yesterday I packed up a bunch of mementos from our relationship and sent them to him by mail. I wrote a not telling them that I wanted him to have them because they only bring me pain for ruining our relationship and not being good enough for him. I didn't mention anything about suicide.

Question: Is he going to call the police on me and have me arrested? Is he going to get a restraining order on me? I think about him a lot but I don't call him or text except on those few occasions. I know it was a stupid thing to do. It was impulsive and stupid. Will I get in trouble? Am I totally screwed or what? I am planning on ctb in August or September, so I guess it doesn't matter anyway.

 

[crimea_river]

I don't know which country you're in, but I personally can't think of one that would allow a restraining order based on what you've outlined.

If he thinks/feels harassed in some way, I suppose he might call the police and they might have a chat with you about it. That's worst case scenario though.

I think you may be worrying too much, which is understandable as you've just suffered the collapse of a long term relationship.

 

[Captain Moby]

I can't see that you have done anything wrong especially for the police to be called. Police wouldn't even bother and it wasn't stupid, just means you have feelings which is very natural.

Please don't do anything bad, I'm sure there are people that love and care for you.

 

[andy69]

I just keep ruining everything. Maybe I should just end it.

 

[Captain Moby]

I just keep ruining everything. Maybe I should just end it.

You are not ruining anything, you are going through a bad time. Don't give up hope. People love and care for you.

 

[crimea_river]

I just keep ruining everything. Maybe I should just end it.

I sincerely hope you're not that worried about your actions after the breakdown of the relationship. It sounds like you were either seeking explanation or resolution (pefectly normal) and it's probably best to try to put that to one side at the moment.

 

[andy69]

I sincerely hope you're not that worried about your actions after the breakdown of the relationship. It sounds like you were either seeking explanation or resolution (pefectly normal) and it's probably best to try to put that to one side at the moment.

I am so afraid that he going to call the police or get a retraining order against me. I'll end up losing my job or kicked out of class..

 

[Weems]

I am so afraid that he going to call the police or get a retraining order against me. I'll end up losing my job or kicked out of class..

Because you sent him old pictures and a letter? No. You can breathe easy.

 

[andy69]

Maybe I should quit my class and have myself committed again. Not that it will help.

 

[Captain Moby]

Maybe I should quit my class and have myself committed again. Not that it will help.

Is quitting your class the best thing to do? I would say not.

If you are worried about the police please don't worry. You haven't done anything wrong.

As for getting yourself committed I think you have answered that already. If it's not good for you don't do it.

 

[Dead beat dad]

I did something stupid yesterday. My partner of fifteen years broke up with me all the sudden when he met another man. Instead of telling me about it he ghosted me for two weeks and finally answered the phone to say what he did. We had a couple of phone calls and texts since then, usually initiated by me. But he will reply.

Yesterday I packed up a bunch of mementos from our relationship and sent them to him by mail. I wrote a not telling them that I wanted him to have them because they only bring me pain for ruining our relationship and not being good enough for him. I didn't mention anything about suicide.

Question: Is he going to call the police on me and have me arrested? Is he going to get a restraining order on me? I think about him a lot but I don't call him or text except on those few occasions. I know it was a stupid thing to do. It was impulsive and stupid. Will I get in trouble? Am I totally screwed or what? I am planning on ctb in August or September, so I guess it doesn't matter anyway.

From a legal perspective I think you're fine

 

[Soul]

I'm 1000% sure that sending a packet of mementos to someone isn't grounds for a restraining order or anything like it. I reckon my saying that won't ease your anxiety, though.

Don't drop out of your class or make any big decisions while you're so upset, okay? Do you have any anti-anxiety meds, or can you ask a doctor for some? They don't solve problems but they can nudge us into a better state to deal with them. x