Venting I did bad stuff and enjoyed it and idk why

[coolgal82]

I won't go into it but like it was just bad but like i didnt actually hurt anybody, but that doesnt make it good. the worst bit is i felt good while doing it, it felt good, and i was like "hah those people that dont do this are missing out, fucking idiots smh"

honestly this was during a... weird? period of my life. idk how to explain it. my memory sucks so i cant like go into it fully but like it was around the time when i left a bunch of servers due to like conflicts in them that were entirely my fault but they just made me go "hmm these people that were good friends clearly dont respect me fuck them im out" but like.. i felt both good and bad about it? like i felt disrespected and i missed them after and i regret it but at the time it was also like "no im actually just re-inventing myself" because like i got more into politics and stuff which is what caused all the fights. idk alot happened around then. also like my sexuality kinda... changed? atleast like changed how it presented itself like my tastes in partners and shit changed dramatically (well thats a weird one cus i went from like embracing sexual stuff to then repressing it to then embracing it this way but like in a different way? then back to where i started at)

idk but basically alot happened around then. honestly its probably a similar amount as usual but it just felt like alot then idk. but the point is i did that bad stuff and enjoyed it and i just cannot begin to fathom why. when i imagine that stuff now it just feels so wrong and bad and idk why it just flipped like that or even when? i only did it for like a few weeks/a month really then kinda stopped and just idk. i wish i could look into my brain then and just get some answers as to what the fuck was wrong with me

 

[ozymandias1]

I won't go into it but like it was just bad but like i didnt actually hurt anybody, but that doesnt make it good. the worst bit is i felt good while doing it, it felt good, and i was like "hah those people that dont do this are missing out, fucking idiots smh"

honestly this was during a... weird? period of my life. idk how to explain it. my memory sucks so i cant like go into it fully but like it was around the time when i left a bunch of servers due to like conflicts in them that were entirely my fault but they just made me go "hmm these people that were good friends clearly dont respect me fuck them im out" but like.. i felt both good and bad about it? like i felt disrespected and i missed them after and i regret it but at the time it was also like "no im actually just re-inventing myself" because like i got more into politics and stuff which is what caused all the fights. idk alot happened around then. also like my sexuality kinda... changed? atleast like changed how it presented itself like my tastes in partners and shit changed dramatically (well thats a weird one cus i went from like embracing sexual stuff to then repressing it to then embracing it this way but like in a different way? then back to where i started at)

idk but basically alot happened around then. honestly its probably a similar amount as usual but it just felt like alot then idk. but the point is i did that bad stuff and enjoyed it and i just cannot begin to fathom why. when i imagine that stuff now it just feels so wrong and bad and idk why it just flipped like that or even when? i only did it for like a few weeks/a month really then kinda stopped and just idk. i wish i could look into my brain then and just get some answers as to what the fuck was wrong with me

I don't understand anything you just said.

 

[coolgal82]

I don't understand anything you just said.

ok? good for you? i dont care?