I did a really good job

[Foresight]

So my life is unraveling badly as of late but here's a small good experience. With the nature of my job (tax) my position is coming to a close until November. The recruiter contacted me and told me I could see my client reviews. I was scared to check before because I'm sensitive to criticism. I did great. I received more compliments than I've heard in my entire life. My best traits apparently shined through. I loved this job because at heart I love helping people. The opportunity to be of service to others was taken away because of my appearance. Working remotely was what made the difference.

I feel good about it. I worked my ass off for the job, made more money than I ever have, and people appreciated my work. Feels good. I'll take the win. It doesn't change the bigger picture in my sad circumstances but I'll take the good feelings for today.

 

[Huntfish34]

That's awesome,. Job well done !

 

[whatevs]

 

[Julgran]

So my life is unraveling badly as of late but here's a small good experience. With the nature of my job (tax) my position is coming to a close until November. The recruiter contacted me and told me I could see my client reviews. I was scared to check before because I'm sensitive to criticism. I did great. I received more compliments than I've heard in my entire life. My best traits apparently shined through. I loved this job because at heart I love helping people. The opportunity to be of service to others was taken away because of my appearance. Working remotely was what made the difference.

I feel good about it. I worked my ass off for the job, made more money than I ever have, and people appreciated my work. Feels good. I'll take the win. It doesn't change the bigger picture in my sad circumstances but I'll take the good feelings for today.

You are a great person!

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

 

[whatevs]

It's open GIF season!

 

[Foresight]

 

[Mixo]

Nice work. I'm sure the experience of becoming competent and making money through your chosen path has given you some more self-confidence/self-worth and you are better prepared for the next season, in whatever form that will take. You've helped people deal with something that is naturally very scary or unpleasant to most (taxes). Thanks for sharing.

 

[Foresight]

For real, I'm really feeling myself over this win because my ability to talk has been blocked for years and I pushed through to learn how to communicate again. And I haven't heard nice things about myself from others in so long. It's been so dark for me for so long. I'm used to she's disgusting, look at her, her fucking face yada yada so to hear compliments on my character, my patience, my intelligence, all the things I've been cultivating made me feel so good. Not to mention the psychosis I've been dealing with and trying to keep my composure the best I could. I'm on a bit of a roller coaster with internal wins but an everlasting external problem, but if I go out I'm going out swinging. I'm trying.

 

[Julgran]

For real, I'm really feeling myself over this win because my ability to talk has been blocked for years and I pushed through to learn how to communicate again. And I haven't heard nice things about myself from others in so long. It's been so dark for me for so long. I'm used to she's disgusting, look at her, her fucking face yada yada so to hear compliments on my character, my patience, my intelligence, all the things I've been cultivating made me feel so good. Not to mention the psychosis I've been dealing with and trying to keep my composure the best I could. I'm on a bit of a roller coaster with internal wins but an everlasting external problem, but if I go out I'm going out swinging. I'm trying.

You seem to be bothered by your external appearance. I think that you could just accept your current achievements, and then you could opt for facial surgery if you wish, later on. I'm not saying that you should do any facial surgery, but if that's what keeping you back, you could try it.

...but, again - love yourself for the moment and then think about how you want to proceed.

 

[Foresight]

I appreciate it. I'm actually not bothered, It's other people that are bothered by my disfigurement. I'm bothered by the constant and heavy harrassment about it which keeps me locked away in the house. I tried to be strong and hold my head up about it but I don't have whatever trait it takes to do that. I've done 5 scar revision procedures with a plastic surgeon. It's not fixable.

 

[Foresight]

I'm hurting. It hurts more to try knowing it's for nothing.

I found myself on my kitchen floor screaming at God with a knife in my hand this morning. This situation has eaten me alive. I'm back in the process of grieving. I'm hurting so much.

 

[virgilwalks]

I understand how cruel people can be about facial physical appearance. Decades of hostility, being bullied, harassed, discriminated against, threatened, menaced, assaulted, people pointing at me and talking about me as if I can't hear what they're saying. I understand feeling "lesser than" for something that you have no control over. I understand the anger and disbelief and the feeling of unfairness and outrage that other people can behave like animals. I take that last part back my dog is better behaved than these awful insensitive idiots. And my dog is the reason I've got to go out for a walk several times a day and face the world - bad pun.

But I'm still here. And I'm writing this reply in solidarity hoping it gives you even just a teeny tiny bit of comfort that someone else gets it. Wearing a mask to go out the last two years was actually kind of a relief. Like I could just be at least feeling unremarkable - not standing out.

Your scar is not the sum of you. You have greater worth. Read those client reviews again. Know that you're not alone in these feelings. I cried reading this thread because I get it.

and I'm still here.

 

[Foresight]

I understand how cruel people can be about facial physical appearance. Decades of hostility, being bullied, harassed, discriminated against, threatened, menaced, assaulted, people pointing at me and talking about me as if I can't hear what they're saying. I understand feeling "lesser than" for something that you have no control over. I understand the anger and disbelief and the feeling of unfairness and outrage that other people can behave like animals. I take that last part back my dog is better behaved than these awful insensitive idiots. And my dog is the reason I've got to go out for a walk several times a day and face the world - bad pun.

But I'm still here. And I'm writing this reply in solidarity hoping it gives you even just a teeny tiny bit of comfort that someone else gets it. Wearing a mask to go out the last two years was actually kind of a relief. Like I could just be at least feeling unremarkable - not standing out.

Your scar is not the sum of you. You have greater worth. Read those client reviews again. Know that you're not alone in these feelings. I cried reading this thread because I get it.

and I'm still here.

Jesus, I really needed to hear this and I'm glad you're still here. Thank you.

 

[Weebster]

You did the best job! Well done, good citizen.

Reminds me of the ending of this.

 

[Foresight]

You did the best job! Well done, good citizen.

I understand where you're coming from but your cynicism is misplaced in my opinion.

I wasn't set out to please my employer or the US government. These comments didn't come from the employer or the government, they came from people. The reason I got these reviews is because I treated them like human beings with respect, patience, understanding, and care.

You'd be surprised by the conversations I've had with people. They speak about all parts of their life. You hear about their family, their hopes and dreams, their needs and concerns in their life. You hear it all by nature of the work. You speak with grieving individuals, people who won't be able to pay rent if you can't help, people who are about to mess up badly and lose thousands that could help them if you didn't catch mistakes. I've worked almost exclusively with low income taxpayers. I'm not against the concept of taxation but I do know its more sinister aspects. I would obviously revise the code if given the chance.

But yea, I've been called a soulful person and someone who listens and cares by PEOPLE, not any organization. What I saw as a win was that the character I've cultivated has shown to matter and make a difference. The money made obviously I need because I've been in poverty all my life, but the big win was being there for people and knowing I'm not completely disconnected.

 

[virgilwalks]

I understand where you're coming from but your cynicism is misplaced in my opinion.

I wasn't set out to please my employer or the US government. These comments didn't come from the employer or the government, they came from people. The reason I got these reviews is because I treated them like human beings with respect, patience, understanding, and care.

You'd be surprised by the conversations I've had with people. They speak about all parts of their life. You hear about their family, their hopes and dreams, their needs and concerns in their life. You hear it all by nature of the work. You speak with grieving individuals, people who won't be able to pay rent if you can't help, people who are about to mess up badly and lose thousands that could help them if you didn't catch mistakes. I've worked almost exclusively with low income taxpayers. I'm not against the concept of taxation but I do know its more sinister aspects. I would obviously revise the code if given the chance.

But yea, I've been called a soulful person and someone who listens and cares by PEOPLE, not any organization. What I saw as a win was that the character I've cultivated has shown to matter and make a difference. The money made obviously I need because I've been in poverty all my life, but the big win was being there for people and knowing I'm not completely disconnected.

right on. You have before and will continue to make a difference for people who need help.

 

[Foresight]

I remember I sat with a man last year who had recently lost his wife. I was very anxious that day about my own issues. This man was near death in depression. He was frail and so tired. The subject of his wife obviously came up as you're working with her information as well as his. I was so anxious about my own problems I couldn't find the strength to be open emotionally with him. Anxiety makes you clench up. My co-worker got him some water and consoled him through the grief that was coming up. I told myself I would do all that I could to be open and available to people and I did just that this year. When you're a tax accountant you're also an untrained grief counselor, a crisis manager, a financial advisor, an advocate. You're a lot of things.

The hardest I ever worked with was a woman who had lost her child that year but I was open for her that day.