I cringed when I imagine how my family will react if I CTB (How do you deal with this?)

[Nothing87]

I am now practicing my chosen method (Hanging) and I can't help but cringed everytime I Imagine how will my family reacts If i died. Thus, this is the reason why sometimes I postponed my CTB plan. I am not really afraid to leave them but I just cringed everytime I imagine their reactions.

I am really desperate to die, and I need help or advices how to deal with this kind of thinking. I apologized if this may sound insensitive or rude for those people who lost a loved ones to suicide.

 

[coffeebeany]

I ve been struggling with the same thought. I have loving friends and a loving partner. I ll not chose hanging but I dread their pain when they hear about ctb. I suppose it makes a difference who and how they find you? In my case I plan not for them to find me but still. I don't know if this is helpful or not. But I ve been dealing with it a long time and I think I have to accept that they will be hurt and in pain and probably for a long long time to come. I have to accept it. And I take full responsibility because that's on me. But like me they will be gone one day and all pain with them. I like to imagine that they find comfort knowing that I m no longer suffering. I hope that they will forgive me and understand after their anger ceases. But this is beyond my control. I just hope

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you have to suffer in that situation, I hope you find what you search for, I also just wish to be gone and I really understand just wanting to be free from this existence.

 

[ToilThenDie]

The way I view it is that yes they may be sad that you're gone, but they should at least find some solace in the fact that you are no longer suffering