I couldn’t do it

[NotOkay_]

I just couldn't bring myself to drink the sn kept being anxious about being anxious. I just ate something:( feel like a failure

 

[WornOutLife]

It's okay, hun. There will always be another chance. I know, it hurts because you wanna do it ASAP but things are just like this.
I wanted to ctb today too (since weeks ago) but still, here I am.

 

[NotOkay_]

It's okay, hun. There will always be another chance. I know, it hurts because you wanna do it ASAP but things are just like this.
I wanted to ctb today too (since weeks ago) but still, here I am.

Thank you xx

 

[hoffnungstod]

The right time will be when the right time is there.

 

[johntee2]

I just couldn't bring myself to drink the sn kept being anxious about being anxious. I just ate something:( feel like a failure

There is no pressure on you to do anything. Maybe life has something to offer? I don't know why you're suicidal but I hope your situation improves.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

You sound so close, it's so sad! Please don't feel like a failure, everything's stacked against us.[deleted]. Stay with us some more instead maybe, today wasn't the day, it's ok, I'm really sorry I really know how disappointed you must be feeling xx

 

[NotOkay_]

:( i have to but i was too overwhelmed with the thought of my heart racing anything else but that
My condition is getting worse by the minute:(((
The whole method is sooo drawn out ffs

 

[sauvenchy]

:( i have to but i was too overwhelmed with the thought of my heart racing anything else but that
My condition is getting worse by the minute:(((
The whole method is sooo drawn out ffs

It's already very hard even if it takes 2 breaths let alone knowing that you must wait 30+ min. So please don't feel too guilty or bad about it, it's ok to be afraid it's normal.

I have the perfect custom made exit bag, was on the edge 2 times. The first time i felt like i was going to faint and it didn't even feel too bad but SI kicked in so I ripped the bag off just in time. 5! more seconds and I would be free.

What i'm saying is that with time you will be able to make the decision you want. Until then know that you are not alone.

 

[CatabolicSeed]

Nothing wrong with that, if you're not ready (or changed your mind entirely) that's completely fine!

 

[Spitfire]

I am glad you are still around

The good thing is you now have what you need right at your fingertips.

 

[natsukashiii]

:( i have to but i was too overwhelmed with the thought of my heart racing anything else but that
My condition is getting worse by the minute:(((
The whole method is sooo drawn out ffs

I'm in England, where can I buy it?

 

[NodusTollens]

Oh you're not a failure, love. HUGS.

We understand how difficult it is to CTB, we wouldn't judge you or call you a failure. Take all the time you need, if & when you're ready- we'll be here to support you.

 

[loopylou]

You are not a failure. You are an amazing young woman who's so very strong. X

 

[ansiedad]

You're not a failure.
It's not a easy decision, maybe it isn't you're moment.
Best wishes.

 

[*Hope*]

I just couldn't bring myself to drink the sn kept being anxious about being anxious. I just ate something:( feel like a failure

There is no need to force yourself. I think there is a glimmer of hope, which is why you feel anxious. I hope one day you will come to think that it was a good thing you didnt drink sn just yet

 

[Thisisme373]

Don't beat yourself up, you are much stronger than you think. Everyone on this forum has my respect.

 

[NotOkay_]

thank you guys so much and i love you with all my heart

 

[NoWayOut22]

Ive had that happen to me, i went to hang myself and then on another occasion i wanted to drink the SN but i got so anxious and started thinking ''what happens next'' ''i wont see anyone i love again'' ''i cant hear my fave music again'' which made me even more anxious. we arent failures, just means we werent ready that day.

When we are ready and truely feel its worth taking that leap, we will do it.

 

[Deleted member 23885]

@Golden_xx. Even if u didn't ctb, it's because the time wasn't right. Stick around here for a bit, the community at SS is there for u.

 

[NotOkay_]

Ive had that happen to me, i went to hang myself and then on another occasion i wanted to drink the SN but i got so anxious and started thinking ''what happens next'' ''i wont see anyone i love again'' ''i cant hear my fave music again'' which made me even more anxious. we arent failures, just means we werent ready that day.

When we are ready and truely feel its worth taking that leap, we will do it.

Omg same. It's just crazy how once we have the means we're so hesitant :(

 

[sadworld]

Don't worry. I had the same thing happen to me a few months ago. I was doing my regime and in my last 30 minutes my anxiety was rising so so much I couldn't bring myself to drink it. I felt like a failure as well but it just wasn't my time. It's really hard to overcome your SI and actually drink it. You are very strong and brave for trying it! I hope you feel a bit better soon! xx

 

[loopylou]

Omg same. It's just crazy how once we have the means we're so hesitant :(

I'm glad you aren't so anxious. It's weird how much more relaxed I became when my SN arrived. It's in my bedroom and I look at it most nights and think I'm so relieved I don't have to worry about sourcing my ticket for the bus

Don't worry. I had the same thing happen to me a few months ago. I was doing my regime and in my last 30 minutes my anxiety was rising so so much I couldn't bring myself to drink it. I felt like a failure as well but it just wasn't my time. It's really hard to overcome your SI and actually drink it. You are very strong and brave for trying it! I hope you feel a bit better soon! xx

Did you have benzos ? This is why I think they would help. The anxiety just before

 

[Nitup]

Hey it was just not your time, don't feel bad about this
Plus you're not alone we're here for you and always be