Venting I couldn't do it

[bananaolympus]

Fuck man i just couldn't do it, i jumped from a balcony of 15 or so meters, but still i couldn't drink a cup of sn i followed the steps and still i couldn't do it, my mom had a heart attack in my first attempt this time would kill her for sure, i was so fucking terrified of death this time, i shattered my bones and felt no regret for my first attempt but now fuck, i fear i have no love one to be in the afterlife with, even if is non existence after death i can't die not until my parents are gone i have to endure i refuse to die by my hand

 

[SadRatQueen]

I'm sorry that you're suffering so much, it must be really painful to feel like you have to keep going for the sake of others.
I hope that one day you can find peace, whether in recovery or by ctbing in the future.

 

[dontwakemeup]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you ever felt suicide was your last option. Thankfully, you weren't successful as it seemed you struggled with your decision. It's not uncommon for people to change their minds. The love for your parents kept you here, they would be so happy to know that. Try to focus on something the can occupy your time and find some pleasure in. I'm glad you're safe and ultimately got the results you ended up wanting. I wish nothing but the best for you.

 

[2messdup]

Fuck man i just couldn't do it, i jumped from a balcony of 15 or so meters, but still i couldn't drink a cup of sn i followed the steps and still i couldn't do it, my mom had a heart attack in my first attempt this time would kill her for sure, i was so fucking terrified of death this time, i shattered my bones and felt no regret for my first attempt but now fuck, i fear i have no love one to be in the afterlife with, even if is non existence after death i can't die not until my parents are gone i have to endure i refuse to die by my hand

That is a hugely strong and caring decision

 

[monke]

Yeah I think I'm stuck in the same kinda predicament type shit. I'm going fucking retarded but if I ctb my dad would probably get an aneurysm.

 

[user938838383335]

I can't do it either