Venting I couldn't do it today...

[Sleeper System]

I couldn't go in to work today. I had to take the day off.

I'm in so much internal suffering that I can't even get out of bed.
My life is so miserable and hopeless that it would have been hard not to have a mental break down.

The future is what has me so sick to my stomach. Thinking about my life and how it wont be getting any better.
Literally stuggling just to survive and having the weight of my family who is also in the same situation on my shoulders.

I'm living a fucking lie. Eveyrthing is not okay. Everything is not fine.
This is the truth about the city that I live in. So much poverty. So much sorrorw.
I can't stand to look at the poverty around me that reminds me of how fucked I am and/or will be.

Just a studio apartment here costs 1.5K now and i can't afford even that.
Im lucky enough to rent a room for half the price but this wont last forever. Im so scared about it.

The only good thing is that I don't have children or a partner to worry about. Not even a pet.
The solitary life can have its perks but it's a double edged sword. Loneliness rears its ugly head from time to time.
Right now it's the least of my worries. I don't know how I'm going to survive this.

 

[loslassen]

I'm sorry to hear that, I'm in a similar situation, it certainly is dreadful that we know it might or likely will only get worse, but I like to think of it as a challenge, idk, it's over said but not untrue that pushing through might make you stronger, I'd like to think there are still at least a few things to enjoy that might make you feel good, try them before you decide you can't handle it, I'm here if you want to chat. Also don't want to pressure you or dismiss your suffering, I just like to share my recommendations, I understand what it's like feeling like you will break before you reach good things…

 

[gbi2]

Very sorry to hear what you are going through. With regards to the time off, do you have the option to be signed off sick by your doctor, for a month or two?
Not that I'm saying it is a good idea for everyone to just do as being off for so log can cause more problems when you have to go back but it should be something for everyone to consider if they can.

 

[Sleeper System]

Very sorry to hear what you are going through. With regards to the time off, do you have the option to be signed off sick by your doctor, for a month or two?
Not that I'm saying it is a good idea for everyone to just do as being off for so log can cause more problems when you have to go back but it should be something for everyone to consider if they can.

It would be unpaid time off and I simply can't afford that.
I think having that time to decompress would help but the going back part would start it all over again.
If I could change locations to where I was previously I think that would solve a lot of my mental torture.
I was in a place far removed from the city. I was able to pretend a little better there.

 

[gbi2]

It would be unpaid time off and I simply can't afford that.
I think having that time to decompress would help but the going back part would start it all over again.
If I could change locations to where I was previously I think that would solve a lot of my mental torture.
I was in a place far removed from the city. I was able to pretend a little better there.

Ok, if it is possible for you to go back I hope you manage to.