I could CTB Friday evening, and no one would know until Monday evening.

[canyounotbesad]

I don't have a ton of people that check in on me on a regular basis so if I was to CTB Friday evening, after work, no one would really suspect until Monday when I don't show up for work. By then it would be too late. This comforts me and also haunts me cause on one hand it's perfect, no will bother me and I can succeed; on the other it's a stark reminder that I just don't have that support system. Maybe if I did have that support system, I wouldn't even feel this way. If I took vacation time that would be even better. I could say some shit like I'm going to a National Park, and no one would expect to reach me. I only know 1 person that would be suspicious if I didn't respond to them in a day or so, but that same person has also told me that if I continue having issues, they'll stop talking to me so grain of salt, I guess.

Does anyone else feel this way? Does anyone else plan the timing of it all? Like if you do it on X Day you have X amount of time until someone notices. Thinking like this makes me think of the lady who had died in your apt and no one noticed until 3 years later when she was just bones. Would it be better to die in obscurity or to be noticed? Cause if you were noticed so quickly, why didn't anyone put in the hard effort before? But if you die without anyone noticing isn't that as sad to think about? That what you're doing is the right thing? Does it even matter? Death is surely like a dreamless sleep. You just turn off. You cease to exist.

 

[kyhoti]

I have about a 3 day window before it would be noted that I hadn't called. I don't work, so no issue there. get rare check-ins from my fractured network; I'm usually the one who initiates contact.

I actually have a day picked out. My motel rent is due every week, so I will check out on rent day, then spend the rest of my day eating good food. Then I'll go off to my spot and ctb. It will be some time before the smell is noticable.

It is a sad thing to go at all, much less unnoticed. Some of my people will be sad, wondering if they could have helped. Others, who know about my past, will be glad I'm gone. Either way, I am hoping for the peace I seek.

 

[canyounotbesad]

I have about a 3 day window before it would be noted that I hadn't called. I don't work, so no issue there. get rare check-ins from my fractured network; I'm usually the one who initiates contact.

I actually have a day picked out. My motel rent is due every week, so I will check out on rent day, then spend the rest of my day eating good food. Then I'll go off to my spot and ctb. It will be some time before the smell is noticable.

It is a sad thing to go at all, much less unnoticed. Some of my people will be sad, wondering if they could have helped. Others, who know about my past, will be glad I'm gone. Either way, I am hoping for the peace I seek.

This is exactly how I feel especially you saying some people will be glad. I don't really want to CTB cause life sucks, life is finicky at best, but because I know it's the right thing to do. The fact that there is even a window to be able to CTB without detection is proof of that

 

[outrider567]

I don't have a ton of people that check in on me on a regular basis so if I was to CTB Friday evening, after work, no one would really suspect until Monday when I don't show up for work. By then it would be too late. This comforts me and also haunts me cause on one hand it's perfect, no will bother me and I can succeed; on the other it's a stark reminder that I just don't have that support system. Maybe if I did have that support system, I wouldn't even feel this way. If I took vacation time that would be even better. I could say some shit like I'm going to a National Park, and no one would expect to reach me. I only know 1 person that would be suspicious if I didn't respond to them in a day or so, but that same person has also told me that if I continue having issues, they'll stop talking to me so grain of salt, I guess.

Does anyone else feel this way? Does anyone else plan the timing of it all? Like if you do it on X Day you have X amount of time until someone notices. Thinking like this makes me think of the lady who had died in your apt and no one noticed until 3 years later when she was just bones. Would it be better to die in obscurity or to be noticed? Cause if you were noticed so quickly, why didn't anyone put in the hard effort before? But if you die without anyone noticing isn't that as sad to think about? That what you're doing is the right thing? Does it even matter? Death is surely like a dreamless sleep. You just turn off. You cease to exist.

Yes, it would be several days before anyone would find my body, maybe a week

 

[ramon]

Not to be a killjoy here, but... What about the smell of your future rotting corpse?

From what I understand, you... I mean, your decomposing remainings will catch a lot of attention from your neighbors initially wondering "What's that penetrating and uncomfortable stench?"

Not to mention your local goverment entering your premises to reach your deathbed.

Any arguments to correct my view on this matter are highly appreciated.

 

[nattanatta]

on the other it's a stark reminder that I just don't have that support system. Maybe if I did have that support system, I wouldn't even feel this way.

Yep, exactly this. People simply don't care if they don't hear from me, and I can't help but think that perhaps life would be a bit better if I had at least someone who'd actually worry if I go silent.
Then again, it definitely makes CTB a lot easier. I have basically zero worries about someone finding me during my attempt and "rescuing" me, that's pretty much an impossible scenario for me.

 

[canyounotbesad]

Not to be a killjoy here, but... What about the smell of your future rotting corpse?

From what I understand, you... I mean, your decomposing remainings will catch a lot of attention from your neighbors initially wondering "What's that penetrating and uncomfortable stench?"

Not to mention your local goverment entering your premises to reach your deathbed.

Any arguments to correct my view on this matter are highly appreciated.

It would take 24-72 hours for it to get stinky but at that point it wouldn't really matter. I will say if/when I CTB I plan on getting tarp and putting it on my bed and then doing the deed on that cause I don't want to make it a pain for someone else to clean up. But you could also just do it in the woods and then it really doesn't matter that it'll smell.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

In all shapes and form the outcome would be the same: death. So in a sense it doesn't change much since it's after. If I were to choose I'd love to just vanish without anyone and anything knowing for years on end. Just leaving the world as the spectator I (half) am and not disturbing anyone. It sounds like a dream.

 

[canyounotbesad]

In all shapes and form the outcome would be the same: death. So in a sense it doesn't change much since it's after. If I were to choose I'd love to just vanish without anyone and anything knowing for years on end. Just leaving the world as the spectator I (half) am and not disturbing anyone. It sounds like a dream.

I agree, I don't want to bother anyone or for it to be a hassle for people. Which I know people may say "then why CTB, you're going to bother them by doing that". But I know me dying will be a net positive, I'm just too selfish to do it right now.

 

[ramon]

It would take 24-72 hours for it to get stinky but at that point it wouldn't really matter. I will say if/when I CTB I plan on getting tarp and putting it on my bed and then doing the deed on that cause I don't want to make it a pain for someone else to clean up. But you could also just do it in the woods and then it really doesn't matter that it'll smell.

Thanks for the tip about the tarp.

Will, seriously, consider it.