I chickened out and now hell awaits me please help ASAP

[Iwouldratherdie]

I put the glowing briquettes in the car and waited. My ears started ringing increasingly my body started to feel heavy. I got so scared i just wish I were dead already without going through the process of dying. I ran out of the car and I was wobbling all over I couldn't walk straight at all and my ears were ringing so loud. My dad is abusive but of course when I panic I turn into a little child and I cried to my dad like a baby even though he's done nothing but abuse me. He locked the car and threw away my grill i still want to end it all. If I don't do it right now all hell will break loose. My dad said if I don't get out of the car he would call the ambulance and police. i got out and he locked the door and thew my last charcoal out and my grill. Does anybody know what methods you would use if you wanted least psychologically scary methods that I don't have to learn and I can do right now. I wish I didn't chicken out but I got so worried that if I was going to fail and have an oxygen deprived brain but still be alive like a human vegetable. Can someone please tell me what to do NOW. My dad won't let me be alone now and If I don't end it right now something far worse awaits me. PLEASE HELP.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

We can't. It's against the rules.

If your dad is that abusive, get out of the house and go to your mom's. Or call the police. Or just get out of the house until he cools off.

 

[Living sucks]

@Alec maybe you can help? And I'm not patronizing in anyway here. I've made several caring suggestions previously as suggesting methods is just not ok. There is a much bigger issue here that we can't solve.

@Iwouldratherdie your attempts are going to land you back in a hospital. I'm surprised your family hasn't already called. You need to lay low or risk consequences. I think all this is a cry for help but you're not getting the attention you need. Do you see a therapist? If you do, can you call them to talk? You are being impulsive and it's only making things worse. Calm down and lay low for a few days. There is nothing you can do while being watched by your father. And we can't help you other than offer compassion.

It's clear you do not have the ability to get passed your fear of dying. It's normal.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I don't mean to be unkind, but things aren't adding up.

You said you were scared, and you ran out of the car and wobbled, and cried to your dad. But then you also said that your dad demanded you get out of the car or he'd call emergency services. Both times you got out of the car, he locked the door and threw away the grill.

And if your dad won't let you be alone, then how have you been able to be active on SS multiple times since posting the thread, let alone post the thread at all? If you were wobbling from CO poisoning, how were you even typing?

 

[Iwouldratherdie]

I don't mean to be unkind, but things aren't adding up.

You said you were scared, and you ran out of the car and wobbled, and cried to your dad. But then you also said that your dad demanded you get out of the car or he'd call emergency services. Both times you got out of the car, he locked the door and threw away the grill.

And if your dad won't let you be alone, then how have you been able to be active on SS multiple times since posting the thread, let alone post the thread at all? If you were wobbling from CO poisoning, how were you even typing?

He said he wouldn't let me be alone but he just moved my mattress in his room and that's it. I tried to go back in the car after and then he threatened to call.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

1. How old are you?
2. Are you male or female?
3. Have you spoken to your mother?
4. How far away does your mother live?

 

[enjolras]

Quite concerned here. It makes me regret yesterday

 

[Iwouldratherdie]

Quite concerned here. It makes me regret yesterday

I regret yesterday too. I really I wish wasn't scared. My ears started ringing increasingly then my whole body started tingling feeling heavier and heavier. I could feel oxygen leaving my brain.

 

[Painpleasure]

How old are you?