LifeIsNotFun
Mage
- Jun 1, 2019
- 530
So, today I decided to go out and have a nice day, and when I came home it ended up being horrible Arriving home I basically got cornered by my brother and harassed. I couldn't take it, and started self harming myself, and then they threatened to call 911. They know I have severe OCD, and went through my room(which they know that triggers me), and thankfully they didn't find my meto or anything(N hasn't arrived yet). I honestly can't wait to CTB, and they don't seem to realize how much of headache they are. How much they don't understand, and how frustrated I am. They think they are the normal ones, and nothing is wrong with them. This has been the case as far as I can remember.
My mom over the years has done self harm, and other mental breakdowns and never has acknowledged that she has issues. I have at least. She says she has seen a psychologist and he says shes perfectly normal, and closed her file. I call bullshit, if only the Dr actually saw what they do to themselves over the years. With my OCD attacks they have humiliated me, and have recorded me while I was cornered and harassed me. To show how pathetic I am, and on many occasions they have even told me to kill myself, probably about 5 times now, or more. They always call me a burden, and a headache. Such awful things, that it makes me feel like I'm falling into a dark abyss. My brother ever since I was young always abused me physically, and mentally, and he himself thinks nothing is wrong. He knows of my health issues but is inconsiderate of it, and doesn't understand at all what I am going through. Even when I try to explain, he says he does, but then he sends such ignorant text messages to my phone, and still can't comprehend anything. It's like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. It is literally so mentally exhausting and physically draining to deal with these people, and wish my life was different. Unfortunately, things are just getting worse, health wise, and family wise. I honestly can't wait for my N to come and I can't wait to CTB and leave all this crap behind. I will finally have peace that I truly deserve. I have written out my suicide note on my computer and have everything ready to go. I have two more weeks left till my N hopefully arrives. I deserve peace, and I can't wait to achieve it.
My mom over the years has done self harm, and other mental breakdowns and never has acknowledged that she has issues. I have at least. She says she has seen a psychologist and he says shes perfectly normal, and closed her file. I call bullshit, if only the Dr actually saw what they do to themselves over the years. With my OCD attacks they have humiliated me, and have recorded me while I was cornered and harassed me. To show how pathetic I am, and on many occasions they have even told me to kill myself, probably about 5 times now, or more. They always call me a burden, and a headache. Such awful things, that it makes me feel like I'm falling into a dark abyss. My brother ever since I was young always abused me physically, and mentally, and he himself thinks nothing is wrong. He knows of my health issues but is inconsiderate of it, and doesn't understand at all what I am going through. Even when I try to explain, he says he does, but then he sends such ignorant text messages to my phone, and still can't comprehend anything. It's like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. It is literally so mentally exhausting and physically draining to deal with these people, and wish my life was different. Unfortunately, things are just getting worse, health wise, and family wise. I honestly can't wait for my N to come and I can't wait to CTB and leave all this crap behind. I will finally have peace that I truly deserve. I have written out my suicide note on my computer and have everything ready to go. I have two more weeks left till my N hopefully arrives. I deserve peace, and I can't wait to achieve it.
