I can’t wait for tomorrow

[Rocinante]

I get to live the exact same day I have the last six/seven years. The monotony of everyday life has become too unbearable. There's so much things I could enjoy with my time but I refuse to do it. The only thing that would truly satisfy me is reintegrating back into society, too bad I'm far too gone for that to happen. Regardless of what happens in my life I will always find ways to be miserable.

I only write here because elsewhere I was told I'm a self-loathing emo. I should feel ashamed for the way I am. There's no excuse for me ending up like this.

 

[Shirokuma]

God that's depressing. I never thought about the relation of 2017 to the current date like that. Time is something that constantly pains me.

 

[voc_89]

one of the best things of this community is that it really is judgement free. I can put my head on a block and say that none of us here see you as a 'self-loathing emo'. None of us asked for this (who the hell on earth would). This was forced onto us due to experiences, genetics, trauma, etc. If you think what will really help with your mental frame is integrating back with society then do it. But remember. Baby steps. Years of dedication that went behind building up walls will not go away overnight. So while they may seem small (asking a stranger for the time or directions... asking someone in the gym if they can show you how to use this equipment or if you can alternate sets with them, etc.) are all major accomplishments that will help you reach your ultimate target. Rewarding yourself for these accomplishments is another way to ensure that you carry them out as well. So also keep that in mind along your journey.