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mortalityisbadass

mortalityisbadass

Two setbacks away from my worst self
Nov 18, 2023
35
I've tried CBT multiple times already and I've done my damnest to get better. I'm going to therapy, taking medications, improving relationships with friends and family, but it all keeps going to shit.

My family, friends, and partner all need me to be someone reliable and stable but after supporting everyone else I have no energy for myself. I've struggled with codependency for my entire life and every single relationship, friendship or otherwise, ends with me getting so tired of taking care of them that I abruptly leave and burn the bridge.

Part of me wishes I could just move to another country and live as a different person, but I know my past will haunt me no matter where I go.

I don't want it to end like this, but I can't think of anything else I can do. Things always seem to get better but it always ends the same way. I just want to give all my stuff to my loved ones so they can handle this shit themselves, because I can't do this anymore.
 
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