Like I'd said in a previous thread of mine about how I was treated at home by my parents especially my brothers. Well I was pregnant this past month but I lost my baby and it just brought back old taunting memories of mine. When I was 13 my brother one day got me pregnant and I never told him or anyone else in my family because for fucks sake I was only 13 I wanted to keep the baby but I decided to get rid of the baby 8 weeks after what he did because when I took that digital pregnancy test and it came back as pregnant I couldn't do it I didn't know what to do. I mean I wanted to keep the baby have the baby then tell the world about what my brothers did make them suffer and to feel the pain they've caused me but I couldn't do it. I knew my mother well enough to know she'd never believe me and she would never let anyone know of what happened. So i decided to terminate my pregnancy. I knew it was my brothers because they were the only ones doing that stuff to me I just didn't know which one was the father. I can't sleep I keep remembering what happened and now that I lost this baby also from rape just not incest as well it was actually a stranger but I feel like I have killed both of my babies. Because with this recent pregnancy I lost my baby at three months pregnant and it was either because of my diabetes or the fact that I overworked myself at work because I'm so used to working at home and doing whatever even if i feel sick or i'm tired or I need the bathroom or water or even a break. And I just did the same at work because that's all I'm used to. Now I don't know what to do, i wanna tell my friends but I'm scared I don't know what to do because yes in a way I am still protecting my brothers because even though I'm telling the truth I feel like no one will believe me because my mother is good at manipulating others tricking them and guilt tripping them into believing whatever she wants them to. I mean she had others believing I was delusional about what my brothers had done to me until they outright admitted to what they have done. The thing is my brothers are just like my mother and to save their own asses and their mothers and fathers they'll sell me out as a delusional girl with mental issues. Please someone anyone help me, I need someone to tell me what it is I should do. Give me advice anything at all will be better than nothing and having these memories eat me from the inside out.
Your mother is a narcissist, your brothers are rapists... Never speak to any of them again. You start your own family of 1 now.
The police are crap but denounce your brothers. I bet they raped others.
Flee far away, I hope you're old enough. Child protective services are abusive too but might be better...
Babies aren't angels from heaven. They're clothes of the fathers. The world don't need the psychopaths to reproduce. You lost your baby from extreme stress & no support. It was kind of you not to give birth to a possibly deformed crippled baby from incest, born in a rape family.
I hope you'll make your own family, with a gentle lover, far away from those monsters. Hopefully while they get raped in jail.
Everybody deserves to die in that story except you!
I would still try talking to your mum about it, in the off chance it brings closure. Sorry for what you've been through
No it'd give the narc the opportunity to do more gaslight. I wrote a letter to my mom explaining why she's bad and I'll never speak to her again.
no idea why shed be that way, but when we finally got around to going into depth about what they'd done she told me they were just being curious boys they didn't do anything wrong. Well boy was she wrong about that, I mean she always talked about replacing me with one of there friends because I'd be less of a hassle for her less of a burden or problem if I was gone and became someone else's problem to deal with. Well turns out she had already replaced me so I'm fucked either way. Apparently her sons my brothers matter more to her than her own fucking daughter and now after all she, her husband, sons and daughters have done to me she wants me to apologize to her and come back home and be a family again, fuck that no way in hell is that happening. Her daughters would hurt me when we were younger, I've gotten more than my fair share of stitches on my head from my sisters and my one brother, I've gotten more than my fair share of how cruel the world can be to naive little girls. I've gotten more than my fair share of experience with men and I know what brothers are thanks to them because their not what brothers should be. I've gotten more than my fair share of lectures, beatings and so called love from my mother father and my brothers and sisters to last me five life times. I've gotten more than my damn fair share of sexual experiences to last me all of eternity. I've gotten more than my fair share of a lot of things for which I never needed to go through nor did I deserve to go through so yeah when I say I'm done with the world it's because the world has shown me just how much it wants me gone. How much it fucking hates me and seems to regret bringing me into it.
Read about narcissism. They like a punching bag to vent their anger, accumulated as they try to look perfect. The boys were the golden child, can do no wrong to her. She believed you but thought you didn't deserve protection.
As therapy, if you have flashbacks, take control, imagine yourself kicking their balls, or worse. That's the purpose of otsd flashbacks, to figure out ways to prevent being harmed if it happened again. Try self defense. Allow yourself the dignity if daying no, gaving boundaries, that were denied. I'm still working on it.
You lived some very extra hell. If you want to act violent scenarios on them... They deserve the worst.
But you don't deserve jail. So have some empowering sadistic revenge daydream .. try the cops... Flee... Try to never let narcs in your life again. Don't fall for grandiose kindness & promises... They're often traps for the emotionally starved...
Best wishes
