Venting I can’t take it anymore

[rustacean]

the last few weeks I can't get thoughts of suicide out of my head. I have a friend, i love her but i don't have the courage to tell her i love her, and it eats me up inside, i'm jealous of all the men who have constant interaction with her, i think that maybe it would be resolved if i told her that's what i feel for her, but im afraid of her moving away from me, because she's the only thing that keeps me alive, several times i've almost committed suicide but whenever i was going to do it I think that I might have a chance with her and I desist from committing suicide.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's certainly true that you cannot rely on other people in this world, but anyway I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[wanderingbeam]

i told my only (online) friend about my suicidal thoughts yesterday because i couldn't handle keeping it to myself anymore. it wasn't a good idea. she urged me very desperately to "get help" and i think she's going to distance herself from me unless i do so. my initial idea was to just send her a note once i CTB and i wish i'd stuck with that. now i just feel more guilt.