hoppybunny
Fearer of the Future
- Jun 26, 2024
- 143
Im sorry for posting so many things back to back but i really hate myself right now. I can't stop crying over useless fucking things and it's genuinely pissing me off which is making me cry even more.
Like just now I'm boiling rice for my family and i almost started screaming because i was trying to find a lid for the pot and every single one was dirty. Even though theyre where the clean dishes are. My mum is insistent on using the dishwasher but we're still having a bit of a learning curve so because of this a lot of the dishes still come out dirty. And its genuinely starting to make me go crazy cause i feel like I'm the only one who cares that the dishes arent actually getting clean. We switched to paper plates to save money and time but now out of nowhere she wants to use the dishwasher and now im washing more dishes than before the switch. Im so tired.
I don't know who keeps putting the dishes away when they're still dirty without checking them but i started getting so.angry it almost triggered my asthma.
Then this morning i decided not to even bother going to school cause i knew I would miss my bus. So i had to resist the urge to bash my head in and scratch my skin.
The part that bothers me the most is that these are all minor inconveniences but my body is having reactions that use too much energy for my liking.
Like yesterday my mum complained because we didnt make her fries and that now she had nothing to eat because she didnt want to eat rice multiple days in a row and i genuinely got so angry i was about to start wripping my hair out and hat resort to cutting my non existent nails even though it still hurts. Cause since i was a child ive never been allowed to complain about what's available to eat. I just want to sleep without someone talking to me for at least 2 weeks. Cause clearly something is wrong with me right now
Like just now I'm boiling rice for my family and i almost started screaming because i was trying to find a lid for the pot and every single one was dirty. Even though theyre where the clean dishes are. My mum is insistent on using the dishwasher but we're still having a bit of a learning curve so because of this a lot of the dishes still come out dirty. And its genuinely starting to make me go crazy cause i feel like I'm the only one who cares that the dishes arent actually getting clean. We switched to paper plates to save money and time but now out of nowhere she wants to use the dishwasher and now im washing more dishes than before the switch. Im so tired.
I don't know who keeps putting the dishes away when they're still dirty without checking them but i started getting so.angry it almost triggered my asthma.
Then this morning i decided not to even bother going to school cause i knew I would miss my bus. So i had to resist the urge to bash my head in and scratch my skin.
The part that bothers me the most is that these are all minor inconveniences but my body is having reactions that use too much energy for my liking.
Like yesterday my mum complained because we didnt make her fries and that now she had nothing to eat because she didnt want to eat rice multiple days in a row and i genuinely got so angry i was about to start wripping my hair out and hat resort to cutting my non existent nails even though it still hurts. Cause since i was a child ive never been allowed to complain about what's available to eat. I just want to sleep without someone talking to me for at least 2 weeks. Cause clearly something is wrong with me right now
