Venting I can't stand when people ctb for really minor stupid reasons

[p24601]

I understand what you are saying but I personally do not believe there is a single event that causes someone to cba, whether it's many tiny things or a major event or even a major event followed by a tiny thing that's caused the person to cba.

Let's take the OP's example of the Minecraft server, how do we know that, that server wasn't the last vestige of hope and connection to friends and with it gone the only friends the person had.

Again I mean no disrespect to anyone especially the OP or anyone else, we just don't know enough of the person's life to make judgement on them and it is not up to us to pass judgement on those who have passed away.

Take myself for example, although I am a new user to this forum I have been reading this forum for months, researching methods, no one knows my life and why I have made the decision and if I'm honest a year ago it is not something I would have considered but now I am counting down the days for the equipment to arrive so I can end my existence on this planet.

 

[IwanttodieASAP]

I would still say "so what"? Like who cares? You're not here on this forum, let alone the planet to worry about the reasons people want to ctb. I would say worrying about the reasons other people want to ctb is one of the biggest unconscious SI Tactics youd brain is plaging on you. Convincing you need to worry or be angry at someone elses reasons so you dont plan your own

 

[makethepainstop]

Like cuz of a breakup, a failed exam or when their minecraft server got griefed.

I know that doesn't change the fact these people killed em selves.

But as someone with "real" reasons it just pisses me off really.

Honestly I do also have a little bit respect for those people to pull that off for really silly reasons and I am still here contemplating

It is a life-altering decision that must be made very carefully, definitely not a decision to be made or carried out without proper analysis.

 

[SpiroSundae]

Like cuz of a breakup, a failed exam or when their minecraft server got griefed.

I know that doesn't change the fact these people killed em selves.

But as someone with "real" reasons it just pisses me off really.

Honestly I do also have a little bit respect for those people to pull that off for really silly reasons and I am still here contemplating

These reasons come from a much bigger problem going on. it's not always whats on the surface

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

Is autassassinophilia a miner reason for you?

 

[makethepainstop]

Is autassassinophilia a miner reason for you?

If I has any idea of what autassassionphilia is let me know please.

 

[sevenkarmas]

Everyone views their obstacles or life events as big or unsurmountable. They can only see it from the position they are in, usually head-on. No doubt, to others that can see what the person is seeing from a different angle (life experience, knowledge of processes), it seems trivial and unsubstantial. My suggestion would be to have some empathy and help that person see the other angles of the issue so that they can make a more informed choice.

 

[Lonerzepam]

Is autassassinophilia a miner reason for you?

I've already learned my lesson man if it is a reason for you than it is...it's your life eventually. Your decision if you want to end it. I wish you the best

 

[SamTam33]

Everyone views their obstacles or life events as big or unsurmountable. They can only see it from the position they are in, usually head-on. No doubt, to others that can see what the person is seeing from a different angle (life experience, knowledge of processes), it seems trivial and unsubstantial. My suggestion would be to have some empathy and help that person see the other angles of the issue so that they can make a more informed choice.

What you're describing sounds more like sympathy. Empathy is seeing a situation from that person's POV.

Sympathetic people tend to offer solutions that they see fit; things that would work for them.

Empathy is a beast of an emotion to master and I think most people fall short of pulling it off.

Nevertheless, it's not necessarily a bad thing to present different POVs. But the most effective suggestions really should come from a place of empathy.

You are in that person's shoes. Now what.

I realize I'm going on a tangent and not focusing on the main point you were trying to convey. But empathy vs sympathy is one of those things I've always been fascinated by.

 

[Shadowlord900]

Dunno if something like this has already been mentioned, but I think the biggest issue when someone judges another person's situation is that they treat all reasons the same for everyone, when all situations can effect people differently. For example, failing an exam could be a small deal for some (either they have other worthwhile qualifications or are not fussed about what kind of job they get), while it could be huge for others (someone who's got their heart set on a specific job or they really need the extra money from a job that pays well).

 

[sevenkarmas]

What you're describing sounds more like sympathy. Empathy is seeing a situation from that person's POV.

Sympathetic people tend to offer solutions that they see fit; things that would work for them.

Empathy is a beast of an emotion to master and I think most people fall short of pulling it off.

Nevertheless, it's not necessarily a bad thing to present different POVs. But the most effective suggestions really should come from a place of empathy.

You are in that person's shoes. Now what.

I realize I'm going on a tangent and not focusing on the main point you were trying to convey. But empathy vs sympathy is one of those things I've always been fascinated by.

No, I meant empathy. Not from the standpoint of why they think it is understandable, but empathize that they see it that way. In other words, you don't have to agree with them, but you can empathize with how they feel and show compassion. Sympathy is to have pity. That can be condescending to someone who is in real pain, whether we think it's a big deal or not.

 

[princess-oph]

What makes your reasoning more real than theirs? It's usually their last straw so they focus on that even though there was much more than that behind their decision.

 

[brokensea]

I think some people have a lack of resilience. If you've never been loved, never had any security, not to mention being abused, when something happens it's another thing you can't cope with and you can feel like, I have no self worth, nothing I feel good about inside, no sense of self or perspective. Everything is just bad all the time. You don't know how to regulate your emotions. This small thing is just another reminder why everything sucks and ends up badly for you.

When you're depressed you can't cope with anything. I cried in my car the other day because my GPS sent me to the wrong location.

Feeling suicidal after a break up is extremely common. People don't talk about how often this happens it's almost normal. It's a devastating loss of the person closest to you that you have memories and a bond with, an investment in.

People who are loved and who were raised by people who grew their self worth and esteem, have a lot of healthy relationships, etc, they're more resilient.

When you don't have those things you can't cope a lot of times when things happen to you. When you have setbacks and failures. There is no comfort for you from anyone and you never learned how to provide it for yourself.

 

[Viranamari]

That's a pretty harsh thing to say. What you think is minor might be something major to others. Different people have different grief limits.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

It's only minor from an outsider's perspective. Clearly from the suicidal person's perspective it's very significant (even if that perspective is warped). Or some people do it without much deliberation at all.

 

[Fl4u]

Like cuz of a breakup, a failed exam or when their minecraft server got griefed.

I know that doesn't change the fact these people killed em selves.

But as someone with "real" reasons it just pisses me off really.

Honestly I do also have a little bit respect for those people to pull that off for really silly reasons and I am still here contemplating

Is there really someone that was like "oh nuu my minecraft server got griefed :(( imma kms now" and then actually did that?

 

[Disaster]

Is "not wanting to live on a planet infested with judgmental boomers" a valid enough reason? If a person wants to ctb for"minor" reasons, they may lack coping skills to deal with the mentioned minor inconvenience, may lack positive reasons to stay alive, or may not want to share the full story on a page like this one… I'm pro-choice and antinatalist. I do feel that there's something wrong with the society, sure, but actually it was the OPs generation who made the society like that Not my problem if he dislikes seeing this generations mistakes. I honestly think that people without painful physical illness lack positive reasons to keep living. And some people with those illnesses would also be happy to continue living if the treatments were affordable. Peoples decisions to ctb are just the symptom, and you're getting angry about the symptom rather than the cause.

 

[Someone123]

Even if the reasons they give seem stupid thet are often not able to recognize or articulate the real reasons for wanting to ctb- the most obvious example being loneliness. If you have almost always felt extremely lonely you don't know what it's like to feel not lonely, and you may not even recognize that this is the real problem. In my case, for example, my parents were experts at pretending to be nice when other people were around and then being extremely cruel mentally as soon as no one was looking, and they were extremely focused on isolating me, in ways big and smalL, 24/7. So I spent most of my years growing up in a form of solitary confinement, and this has made it much more difficult to connect for many years as an adult.

 

[hellispink]

No one owes you anything. No one owes you "big" reasons. People need to do whatever they want but mostly they need to mind their own business. People will do and keep doing whatever they want regardless what one thinks about it.

 

[anguila_anguila]

If, a person has a right to CTB on their own terms (as I would imagine people here would advocate), then whatever reason they choose ought to be enough.
Maybe it is more tragic that it was something so "minor" (supposedly), but it was still their choice. It's not like the people who murder someone else for stupid reasons - e.g. someone in my hometown murdered someone else over a small amount of money (about $10).