Venting I can't live without her

[cardboard_house]

I know I've been making a lot of posts about my cat but I just don't know what to do. It's so quiet without her. I'm so used to her pestering meows as she rushes me to feed her or to come downstairs so she can get comfortable in my bed, or my dad cooing to her about how adorable she is. It's so... silent. It's too quiet, and I miss her so much. I lived for her, she was the reason I stayed alive and I didn't ctb even when I was in the worst pain of my life, but now she's gone. She's gone and I don't know what to do. I have nothing to live for anymore, and I can't stop thinking about her. I don't want to die, but I can't live with this hurt, I don't know how to live with this pain. I wish I was a braver person, I wish I could go out into the world without a reason, just to live. But it hurts so much, and I just want to hide. I miss her so much, I can't believe she's gone. I still love her, but she's not with us anymore. She was my lifeline, she got me through my darkest times. She just laid there with me and let me sob to her, but it was the best comfort I ever had. And now she's gone, and I'll never see her again. For the first time, I really really hope that the afterlife is real, if it means I'll get a chance to see her one last time.

Here are some pictures of her, she was such an amazing cat. She meant the world to me, and I'll always love her to the stars and beyond.

 

[tora]

I'm so so sorry for your loss, losing an animal is absolutely awful :(( she sounded like an angel, and I'm glad she took care of you as much as you took care of her I can't imagine how you must feel. I have a dog and my original CTB plan was to wait until the day he died to ctb because I know I couldn't live without him.
I know that no animal could ever replace her but you could consider fostering a cat while you're grieving, it might help to have one with you to cry to and snuggle with. animals are really good at helping you work through emotions.
I hope you find peace, whether it's continuing to live or not
you say you don't want to die, so please don't make any rash decisions while you're upset! I know it must feel like hell right now but please wait until your mind has cleared before you make a serious decision<3

 

[Lost Magic]

I understand that pain. When my cat was dying (and about to be taken by the vet to be put down) I was sobbing over the little thing like a baby. I feel your pain and I wish you strength through these difficult times.

 

[The Burning Fool]

Thanks for sharing with us. She was so cute!

Can I tell you a short story? I know an old lady whose cat died. He was her everything and I consoled her at that time. Then I advised her to get a new cat, because there are so many poor, sweet, beautiful animals in shelters who need a companion, and the old lady needed one as well, not to feel alone and to have someone to love. She hesitated for more than a month, then she got a new cat from a shelter, a year has passed, and she's so happy with her now.

She hasn't forgotten the old one, he still has a place in her memories. So just know that there's a way for you to move on, whenever you're ready.

Sending love.