ChildrensITV
Arcanist
- Mar 14, 2023
- 455
I can't keep this delusion up. I can't keep coping that "well, maybe X needed to go wrong in order for me to discover/achieve Y". No. Most people I know get Y without X going wrong. And then Y ends up failing for me anyway. Their X, Y and Z goes right for them. Or at least one of them does. Everything in my life fails. There is no silver lining to any of the clouds.
There is no point to my battling through life. The only reason I do it is cuz I am too much of a pussy to drink my SN. It's not so much the hurting of family why I don't do it. It's more about the general fallout. I don't know why I care. But I think about the administration and people who will be left with so many questions. So many ends would be left loose. I wish I didn't care about that stuff.
There is a meme: "I'm running out of 'it is what it is'". Everything in my life gets either taken away or goes to shit. I am not allowed to have or keep anything unless it is unpleasurable, discomforting, worrisome, a burden.
There is no point to my battling through life. The only reason I do it is cuz I am too much of a pussy to drink my SN. It's not so much the hurting of family why I don't do it. It's more about the general fallout. I don't know why I care. But I think about the administration and people who will be left with so many questions. So many ends would be left loose. I wish I didn't care about that stuff.
There is a meme: "I'm running out of 'it is what it is'". Everything in my life gets either taken away or goes to shit. I am not allowed to have or keep anything unless it is unpleasurable, discomforting, worrisome, a burden.
