Venting I can't handle this shit anymore

[noatacanti2020]

I hate my body, my life, and being alone in this constant state of misery. I see no reason to even get out of bed if it's not a lifting day. the only thing keeping from ending it is now gone but I can't muster the will to finally end it

 

[Giizmo]

I know this will probably not help you but I wanted to exchange words of advice/wisdom. Everyone of us struggling with an mental illness/disease whatever it may be. But we are still capable of some form of change whether it is minimal or substantial. Ultimately it is up to you to choose if you find more solace in staying in your own bed and accomplishing nothing in that day alone. I cannot tell you what to do as you need to make your own path and choose your own actions. All I want to say is that you are capable of making change still and despite you saying you have this immense hatred within yourself that it is so demotivating, you still have a chance to turn things around regardless. I've been in your shoes many times and brought myself back out of that hole of despair. Now I'm not saying that you are me and you can just strongarm this state you are in easily. But just know that this stage of your life will not last forever if you actively try to improve. I know it's hard and sometimes it even seems pointless. I probably said a whole lot of nothing but I hope these words speak to you even just a little bit. If you need to talk, I am always available.​

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly understand that it's so dreadful feeling trapped in this existence you hate, I really wish there's the option to just never wake again.