I can't feel anything else anymore

[TiredNorthStar]

Everything just feels dead and empty, I don't feel sad, I feel broken, like I died months ago. I can't cry, or feel anything, is just this constant stabbing pressure in my throat. My best friend was going through something horrible recently, and I was there afterwords, with a few other friends. Everyone was crying, everyone was overwhelmed. I felt almost nothing. I care about my friends a lot, and it hurt to see that, but it never shows. I'm so emotionally blunted by everything else that's going on, there's just no room for anything. I don't want to hurt my friends when I die, but my money is running out. My only real option is to make it so they stop caring about me, so it won't hit as hard when I die. I know I need help, but I don't want another way to keep coping. My mind died long ago, I need to let my body catch up

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could say to help. It's obvious that you are a very caring person but you've just become saturated and overwhelmed. I can relate to that. I relate to not wanting to find new ways to cope too. I think it gets to a point where simply the will to keep trying goes.

 

[kyhoti]

I got to that point about halfway through a year in jail. I found out it wasn't "emptiness", but rather a dam I had built. I got released three weeks ago, and the dam has developed cracks. I cry or laugh or just have the feels at the most inopportune moments now. Very messy, I say.

 

[golta]

Yeah, that happened to me too. Been emotionless makes you a weird person, but having emotion makes you suffer