I can't fail when I kill myself

[whoever]

Hello everybody
I am almost 62 years old and I can hardly move. In a short time I will be a homeless. In Spain two thirds of the homeless suffer very cruel aggressions. I'm going to kill myself. My intention is to kill myself with an super overdose of very powerful sleeping pills mixed with alcohol and also put a hose that goes from the exhaust of the car to the interior of it. But I don't know what happens if they find me alive and save me. I am afraid of being put in a psychiatric hospital and my life is even worse than it is now. That is why I need to know what will happen to me if they find me alive. Sorry for the inconvenience but I am absolutely determined to commit suicide. My life is horrible and I am very sick. But social services don't help me.
I know there is a chemical that veterinarians use to end the lives of sick animals. But you can't buy it in my country and I've been told that nine out of ten manufacturers that sell it on the internet are scammers. Can you give me information about it? There is nothing you can tell me to change my mind and my life is horrible, but soon it will be worse. Please, I need help not to fail. Please give me information.
Thank you.

 

[Rachel74]

I'm from the U.K. so I don't know what Spain's situation is with dealing with the homeless and especially a homeless pensioner. In the U.K. if they found you you'd be put in a home and looked after not sure about Spain.
The drug you are referring to is N or Phenobarbital which is used to euthanise both animals and people. It's not a cheap drug to get and there are only 3 suppliers I know of who send the real stuff. I wish I could help you more. Why will you be homeless?

 

[Alec]

I'm so sorry you are in this situation! I wish things were different, but we all are on this forum because things are the way they are and there's only one way to go. Sorry I can't help you with Nembutal("N" the chemical veterinarians use) because I haven't looked up how to buy it but if you use the search bar here to look up threads about it I think you will find some information or at least someone who can help you, try searching "N mega thread"
There's another chemical called "SN" Sodium Nitrite, that is also a relatively peaceful death according to people it's the second best thing after Nembutal. I chose to go with SN and it's not a controlled substance so you can buy it online and it can safely be shipped to you because it's not illegal to buy it. Search for threads about both of these chemicals here and read on how to properly use them because it's very important to know how to take them and what preparation to take before you drink these chemicals so that they will work. Like taking antiemetics pills. And SN is a lot cheaper than N. Good luck with whatever you choose to do:) I love you!
PS: I bought my SN on eBay and I know for a fact they ship to Spain. But be careful not to buy Sodium NitrAte, you need Sodium Nitrite.

 

[MG_39]

I'm from the U.K. so I don't know what Spain's situation is with dealing with the homeless and especially a homeless pensioner. In the U.K. if they found you you'd be put in a home and looked after not sure about Spain.
The drug you are referring to is N or Phenobarbital which is used to euthanise both animals and people. It's not a cheap drug to get and there are only 3 suppliers I know of who send the real stuff. I wish I could help you more. Why will you be homeless?

Pentobarbital/Nembutal. Phenobarbital is different.

 

[Sweet emotion]

My heart is breaking for you! What is your living situation right now? Do you have a house with a garage? I honestly don't know what social services would do to you. I don't know the laws and protocol in Spain. But I know it's very scary to think about. My heart goes out to you. I hope you find peace.

 

[Avery Jordan]

Most car fuel burns clean so there will be no carbon monoxide to kill you. It's better to use disposable charcoal grill in the car. Also if found theyed put you in a psychward for a little time. It's too expensive to keep you there indefinitely. At least that's how it works in the USA.

 

[whoever]

Thank you all. I've been without a computer for a few days and I didn't know if I had answers. It is very comforting to know that someone wants to help you.

Dear Rachel74: I will be homeless very son because I almost jobless too. It is a question of money. You have written about Phenobarbital (N). You say it's not cheap. You also say that you know 3 providers who send it online. Could you give me a web address to buy it? Do you know if they are trustable? I have read that nine out of ten Internet providers are scammers and they sell you a product that is useless. Do you know if I can drink it? I say it because I can't inject it into a vein because I have very thin veins and I couldn't inject it myself. Naturally I cannot ask anyone to do it for me. Thank you.

Dear Alec: You have written about the Nembutal. Is it the same as Phenobarbital? You also speak of SN. But you write the words "is also a relatively peaceful death." Do you know if it is painful? Because the word "relatively" worries me. I will look for information about it. Thank you very much with all my heart.
Dear Sweet emotion: I am currently living in a humble house that I have borrowed for a few days. But this situation will not last long and social services in Spain will do nothing for me. Thank you very much for your words and you are right: I am very scared.

Thanks Avery Jordan. Are you talking about putting a grill with coal on inside the car? I see it complicated ... My car is very old and I think it would give off carbon monoxide. But you make me hesitate.
Really thank you very much everyone.
By the way, Alec, I checked right now about sodium nitrite and ebay does not send it to Spain. What a shame!

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

My situation will be worse if I fail than now. I can't fail. Have to plan it really good. No mistakes