Jon Arbuckle
This can’t be fixed anymore
- Jul 23, 2024
- 6
I've always been scared, and it's only getting worse
I 'tried' telling my boyfriend that I tried killing myself a few days ago.
We're long distance, so right now we only communicate through discord.
I waited until 4 am when he was already asleep to message him, because the idea of telling him when he was awake and would immediately reply makes my stomach hurt
All I did was send him a message that was more or less "I need to confess something" and I couldn't do it, I couldn't actually type out what I did. I deleted the post.
I've been messaging him about my depression, and he's been pretty supportive, but I've been avoidant of actually bringing up the suicidal ideation I've had. I've talked to him about fleeting thoughts of suicide before so I think he's inferred that I'm thinking about it, but I don't think he knows just how bad it is, that I was trying to ctb but stayed up so late that I just passed out.
he's been nothing but supportive and kind to me. He really is such a sweet guy, I've already stressed him out so much, I don't want to make things worse for him by being like "by the way Im suicidal to the point that I was preparing for an attempt"
I 'tried' telling my boyfriend that I tried killing myself a few days ago.
We're long distance, so right now we only communicate through discord.
I waited until 4 am when he was already asleep to message him, because the idea of telling him when he was awake and would immediately reply makes my stomach hurt
All I did was send him a message that was more or less "I need to confess something" and I couldn't do it, I couldn't actually type out what I did. I deleted the post.
I've been messaging him about my depression, and he's been pretty supportive, but I've been avoidant of actually bringing up the suicidal ideation I've had. I've talked to him about fleeting thoughts of suicide before so I think he's inferred that I'm thinking about it, but I don't think he knows just how bad it is, that I was trying to ctb but stayed up so late that I just passed out.
he's been nothing but supportive and kind to me. He really is such a sweet guy, I've already stressed him out so much, I don't want to make things worse for him by being like "by the way Im suicidal to the point that I was preparing for an attempt"
