Venting I cant do this

[restingplace]

I'm really starting to lose the hope and beauty in life. Im meant to be seeing my girlfriend for the first time in years this month and even that doesn't bring me joy. I went to see a gig not long ago and even that didn't feel as good as it used to. Not even spending money makes me feel any better. It feels like I've done everything in life already even though I'm young. I constantly feel cold and my body is struggling to fight off the infection I got because of self harm. Nothing feels special or happy or worth it. I can't hurt my loved ones again but I need to CTB. I think I might wait a while but I know for sure next time I'll do full suspension and or overdose, whatever is easier.

I've been sobbing for the past 20 minutes or so and i haven't cried like this in a long time.

 

[Red Moon]

Yeah I mostly lost hope in life and nothing really gives much joy for me anymore.

My family probably will be upset if I ctb but it's something that I need to do myself.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you suffer, it must be dreadful what you are going through. But anyway best wishes.