I can't bear so much anguish.

[UglyCat]

Dealing with self-esteem is essentially putting on a mask for everything that happens around; all the teasing, all the jokes with a hint of truth, all the disgust people feel when they see someone horrible. Unfortunately, when a person is born with such an appearance, there is nothing that can be done. They can go to the gym, use as many skincare products as they want, but deep down, they will only be wearing a mask that deprives them of the ability to understand who they truly are. This has brought irreversible psychological consequences—a growing extreme anger, immense sadness, anguish, and agony that drives me to madness, not knowing what to do amid so much despair. Ingratitude for having everything and, at the same time, having nothing. When the crisis is too intense, I need to lock myself in the bathroom and grip my hands tightly to prevent myself from doing something terrible due to the accumulated hatred. I just wish to die in front of a train so that my body won't be in a state to be placed in an open coffin. It's sad to say this, but unfortunately, I am not strong enough to endure everything I've been through. People are cruel.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be really dreadful what you go through, it's certainly cruel how people have to suffer so much in this existence all through no fault of their own.

 

[UglyCat]

That must be really dreadful what you go through, it's certainly cruel how people have to suffer so much in this existence all through no fault of their own.

I can't leave the house... I can't have social media because every person I see, whether with appearance or life I perceive as superior, just worsens the situation.

 

[Pluto00]

I can't leave the house... I can't have social media because every person I see, whether with appearance or life I perceive as superior, just worsens the situation.

I'm in the exact same position, but I also have to avoid mirrors :/

It's truly torture

 

[UglyCat]

I'm in the exact same position, but I also have to avoid mirrors :/

It's truly torture

I'm sorry, brother. I hope you get through this. May God bless you.

 

[Argo]

People aren't good to each other, that is true. But all you can do is question the values that people have. Just because everyone says or values something, does not make that thing good. Just because you possess some trait that no one seems to like, or finds unappealing, doesn't make it so. When you look at other species, or imagine fictional alien species having similar values to humans, their values seem absurd and arbitrary. Yet we just take human values as a given.

I think the question, "Are there things of value?" is valid and has real answers, but I also think it's possible to be confused by sheer accident. That confusion causes unnecessary pain.

 

[UglyCat]

People aren't good to each other, that is true. But all you can do is question the values that people have. Just because everyone says or values something, does not make that thing good. Just because you possess some trait that no one seems to like, or finds unappealing, doesn't make it so. When you look at other species, or imagine fictional alien species having similar values to humans, their values seem absurd and arbitrary. Yet we just take human values as a given.

I think the question, "Are there things of value?" is valid and has real answers, but I also think it's possible to be confused by sheer accident. That confusion causes unnecessary pain.

Thank you for the advice! I understand that appearance isn't everything, but those who have an incredible appearance always seem to do well. And that's based on everything I've lived and witnessed.

 

[Argo]

Thank you for the advice! I understand that appearance isn't everything, but those who have an incredible appearance always seem to do well. And that's based on everything I've lived and witnessed.

It's true generally(not always). Nothing is a guarantee in this world. But yes, appearance, being born into wealth, and other forms of luck, all play a major part in how much/what you'll get to experience. You can either fight with this fact(causing pointless suffering), or you can accept it. What we call "doing well" is also mostly just another one of those values when I said:

When you look at other species, or imagine fictional alien species having similar values to humans, their values seem absurd and arbitrary. Yet we just take human values as a given.

There's what we perceive as doing well from our human lens, and then there's "actually" doing well. Those two things are not the same. That's why when I point you to some random person 15,000 years ago who was "Doing well", and point out all the negative things they have to deal with that you don't have to, you won't trade places with them. Why is that? It's because "doing well" is very arbitrary. Yet, again, we just take it as a given. Why not question this idea of "doing well" before suffering so much from "not doing well"?

 

[Pluto00]

I'm sorry, brother. I hope you get through this. May God bless you.

Thanks bruv, I hope you find a way through this and find much deserved peace as well