Discussion I cannot think of a plausible future for me that is worth living through.

[lotheb_5drop]

Anyone catch my drift or am I just off a perc?

 

[TiredTurtle]

nah i get it

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, I do sympathise. This is my major reason too. That even the best case scenario doesn't seem worth it anymore. I don't know how unreasonable that is either. If you've already tried lots of different things in life and they haven't worked to your own satisfaction, why would doing more of the same thing yield a different result? I'm 44. I feel like I'm the greatest expert on what it's like to be me. What things help me, what don't. Surely, we all know our own lives and preferences better than other people do.

It's different if you want to make a change. If you feel like you might be being influenced by depression or, you're on the wrong track. I've gone through several of those moments too and made enormous changes to try and remedy the situation. You still need to want to change though. Want to put in the (enormous and sometimes risky) effort to try an alternative. Is it really not ok to say: 'I'm done- I've tried enough. Given my previous experience- I feel like I can fairly accurately predict the outcome if I do try and I don't believe it will be worth it.'

Who are we trying for at the end of the day? It's not actually us if we no longer want to participate. Is it reasonable to insist someone stays alive purely for the sake of others?

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't want any kind of future in my case. I don't have any interest in being tormented by old age, dying slowly and painfully, the thought of such sounds beyond hellish to me. All that I see as desirable is permanently ceasing to exist, I see human existence as an abomination that causes nothing but harm and suffering, all of which was completely meaningless and unnecessary in the first place. Existing fills me with dread especially as the risk is always there of ending up in a situation of way worse suffering, to me existing really is so futile and dreadful, I never saw existence as a desirable state in the first place.

But anyway your feelings really are understandable, in my case I'd certainly always prefer to not exist no matter what and it disgusts me how there is no acceptance towards suicide despite the fact that not everyone wants to suffer for decades in this existence, people really should be able to choose when they die in peace.

 

[LunarLight]

I've tried everything but rTMS and ECT.
I can't think of a plausible future. I think I'll never be able to work. I don't wanna end up homeless. I'll CTB before.

 

[unabletocope]

I'm at that point as well, I know there is no hope for me now

 

[mainlanders_son]

Yeah. I've struggled against mainly anxiety my whole life, but I was always functional, I never really lost hope, something always reinforced me, kept me going. But since last August, my mind has been rearranged, exploded, torn apart, barely assembled back together. Personality is gone and I don't see how I can life like this for the rest of my life. All my coping skills I exploited to interact with the world are gone.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I relate. I never wanted a future to begin with. Hopefully I can die as early as possible

 

[elderDrifter]

I totally get it. What's funny is that I was forced to take DBT classes at an intensive outpatient program, and one of the most hilarious goals was to build skills to achieve a life worth living. In this world? Hah! I find that both hilarious and wretched.

Self help nonsense is always the answer it seems, there's nothing systemically wrong, noooo. It's just a mindset problem, or you lack the right coping skills, or something is just wrong and lacking with you. The finger is always pointed at you the individual.

I'm hoping to die once I get certain affairs in order. After that I'm done. I don't think a life worth living exists for me.