Venting I cannot stand positive views towards existing

[FuneralCry]

As they are just so insensitive, invalidating and dismissive, positivity really just is toxicity. Anything positive about existence certainly just makes me wish to permanently cease existing even more. The glorification of something so hellish as existence really is so terrible and harmful, it really disgusts me how those types of views are everywhere as after all we exist in such an anti-suicide society where there is the focus in prolonging meaningless suffering as much as possible, I despise those who force this kind of toxic positivity onto others, they just cause them to suffer more.

I'm repulsed by those who go on about "happiness" and "hope", as to me the idea of such are delusions that just disregard all the endless agony and cruelty that exist in this horrific world where there is no limit as to how much one can suffer.
Human existence truly is the most hellish and hopeless abomination, to exist means to suffer so senselessly all while risking experiencing way worse torture at any moment, the existence of life was the most terrible tragedy that caused nothing but harm in the first place. Death truly is the only peace, more than anything I wish I never existed at all, suicide truly is all that feels rational to me as it's the one escape from the futile and torturous burden of existing as a human. No matter what existence could never be desirable, I wish nothing ever existed at all.

 

[Havnis]

"happiness" and "hope", as to me the idea of such are delusions

If happiness is delusion why can't suffering be delusion too?

suicide truly is all that feels rational to me

To them it is irrational, but the universe is irrational?

The difference between us, suicide to me is not just reliever from suffering but it is death confrontation, reintegration and manifestation of universe within us.

 

[MarkSmith73]

I get ya on that trust me. For me I can't stand the jerks who try to control what I do thinking that abstaining from everything is the answer. It isn't. My fifth of whiskey a day and my pain and sleep meds keep me going. Unless you're going through extensive pain or sadness yourself then don't lecture me. Know what I'm saying? And painfree ctb meds like Nembutal should be easier to find. Of course I just want smaller doses to help me day by day. Either way it should be easier to get! That being said, it eventually gets easier. Just not here.

 

[divinemistress36]

I get ya on that trust me. For me I can't stand the jerks who try to control what I do thinking that abstaining from everything is the answer. It isn't. My fifth of whiskey a day and my pain and sleep meds keep me going. Unless you're going through extensive pain or sadness yourself then don't lecture me. Know what I'm saying? And painfree ctb meds like Nembutal should be easier to find. Of course I just want smaller doses to help me day by day. Either way it should be easier to get! That being said, it eventually gets easier. Just not here.

I hope so

 

[MarkSmith73]

I hope so

100% will. But no guarantees it will here.

 

[divinemistress36]

100% will. But no guarantees it will here.

My friend had an nde it was cool to hear about

 

[MarkSmith73]

I hope so

100% will. But no guarantees it will here.

My friend had an nde it was cool to hear about

No doubt. John is my personal friend so makes this NDE that much more legit for me. Makes things easier for me knowing we can still be ourselves and do the things we love there.

 

[kunikuzushi]

If happiness is delusion why can't suffering be delusion too?

Because happiness would only exist without suffering. There's probably something like a 1% chance of living your whole life without sickness, loss, painful emotions, etc. Maybe even a 0% chance. So suffering is certain. If suffering is certain, then how can "happiness" and "hope" exist? There is no hope. Everyone is going to suffer and die.