Ive been seeing this myself for so long... when I was way younger I would say that the moment I became a burden and/or start hurting people I would kill myself, and then I realized Im a coward because that moment arrived and Im still here, and still hurting people... the truth is things like depression, anxiety, etc. never run out of patience, is always there, people DO run out of patience, and is exhausting having us around... Im still struggling with this myself so idk how I can help but before my mom basically killed herself I would listen to her, she would cry, scream, pour on me every horrible thing she thought, it did make me feel worse, im sure that it did affect me, but god Im glad I listened to her because she would feel so much better after and actually started being kind of positive after venting, and now that i dont have her anymore Im so fucking glad I heard her, because I loved her so much it hurt, and because I loved her whenever she called even if I was laughing and I knew that call would make me cry, I would pick up the phone and make her feel heard, to me thats love, so sometimes I think that if you really love me why you cant lend me a shoulder, an ear, something so I dont feel so alone? even if it hurts you, how can people live without knowing whats wrong with their loved ones?
Hope you feel a way to live with this, or not, Im sorry im not much help.
