I can no longer sleep in my own home without a presence that makes me feel whole

[Crematoryy]

I am desperate, restless, and lost. There is no prospect of resolution in the short to medium term. It will be like this until the end of the year. I am in a spiral of horror, longing for my end, longing to take revenge on the world, wanting to inflict the same pain on everyone.

This situation is unsustainable, and I need to raise funds to treat my mental health. I do everything I can. I drink 5 liters of water a day; I walk 20 kilometers a week; but as soon as night falls at 8 pm (exactly at that time), the loneliness resurfaces like the howl of a hungry wolf.