Venting i can no longer deny the fact i like cutting .

[darknessisfine8]

this is not a post to encourage SH . its my personal choice . and seriously if youre not in that place yet . you should quit SH right away anyway ...


i hate the way everybody reacts to my cuts .

like all they say is either therapy . med . or some sort of family friendly stuff that doesnt work for someone too fucked like me .

yeah . i love cutting . im not ashamed to say . and honestly . its the best part of my day .

i love to see the pain through my arm and i really love my wounds .

theyre just so beautiful . their red . beautiful color on my wrist .

and anyway . even logically . its the best option for me . its quick . and it gives me so much more relieve than othrr methods .


i just love how it feels . im not ashamed to choose my own way of dealing with hard stuff .

im in a situation ( where i dont wanna explain ) where i cant ctb for so long .

like i have stuff to deal with like for a fee years before ending it .

and my main plan to just go on with is cutting .

i love cutting . and i dont want to heal .

 

[failedmind]

just want to say you're not alone. recently relapsed after 6 years and i understand.

 

[darknessisfine8]

just want to say you're not alone. recently relapsed after 6 years and i understand.

thanks a lot for consideration . that means a lot to just read it

but honestly . im far far beyond healing .
and i hope i could end it right now . but for personal reasons i have to stay . and its my main coping ...

 

[NonEssential]

I remember I used to cut my thighs many years ago and enjoyed the tingly feeling it brought. I swapped it with drinking, but
that's becoming more expensive and ineffective so it makes me wonder...

 

[failedmind]

thanks a lot for consideration . that means a lot to just read it

but honestly . im far far beyond healing .
and i hope i could end it right now . but for personal reasons i have to stay . and its my main coping ...

i know what you mean. its my main coping mechanism right now since i cant ctb yet. i dont want to heal and i know even if i wanted to, i couldn't. im sorry youre struggling too

 

[getoutgirl]

I'm finding it real hard these days to dispose of some razors I bought about a week ago. I regret it but I also don't, clearly. I don't like scars as much cos of that same reaction of people around you, which I'm glad in that way that you are not ashamed of it, less shit to deal with. But I deal with a lot of guilt so personally going around with cuts makes me real anxious of posible reactions...
sucks. still can't say i'm a fan of this cope. if it's making the day to day easier or better for you, who am I to not be glad for that at least. You do what you choose to do. I just hope it gets easier for you <3

 

[darknessisfine8]

I remember I used to cut my thighs many years ago and enjoyed the tingly feeling it brought. I swapped it with drinking, but
that's becoming more expensive and ineffective so it makes me wonder...

hope we could all recover back but thats sadly very unlikely

I'm finding it real hard these days to dispose of some razors I bought about a week ago. I regret it but I also don't, clearly. I don't like scars as much cos of that same reaction of people around you, which I'm glad in that way that you are not ashamed of it, less shit to deal with. But I deal with a lot of guilt so personally going around with cuts makes me real anxious of posible reactions...
sucks. still can't say i'm a fan of this cope. if it's making the day to day easier or better for you, who am I to not be glad for that at least. You do what you choose to do. I just hope it gets easier for you <3

Thanks a lot for your kind words

i hope it does for all of us ...

i know what you mean. its my main coping mechanism right now since i cant ctb yet. i dont want to heal and i know even if i wanted to, i couldn't. im sorry youre struggling too

Hard to see youre dealing too . hope it all gets better one day before its over ...

 

[princexhhn]

I had to stop cutting but yeah i feel you, it felt good to take everything out on myself

 

[hocus pocus]

same. i love when i multiswipe and start seeing the fat layer slowly appear, and when i hit a vein or smth and the warm blood rushes out. its just so nice.