Venting i can i can't im losing my mind

[Marawa]

Maybe this is the feeling right before? I hope. I'm so scared of failure to a worse physical condition. I'm pretty sure its nothingness but a tiny afraid of being punished more. How can we trust the universe? I'm babbling now. no one has the answer but the dead

 

[Lara Francis]

Maybe this is the feeling right before? I hope. I'm so scared of failure to a worse physical condition. I'm pretty sure its nothingness but a tiny afraid of being punished more. How can we trust the universe? I'm babbling now. no one has the answer but the dead

Hi.
I do believe that these feelings are normal and represent a strong intention to ctb.
I think there comes a point when we enter the acceptance stage of our death and begin to question what we will experience at this time.Anybody would be scared realistically but also excited.
Without sounding like too much of a lune,
and starting other afterlife thread when we already have one ,i feel that in the moment of death - it will not be tunnels of light that we see but a overwelming and pleasent feeling.
When i was in a crisis and so close to drinking SN ,i spoke with my deceased husband who told me that the transition into the next world could be what you chose it to be.Dead people communicate via feelings not words and maybe i was just on the right level of consciousness to hear or im just more crazy than i thought !

 

[Marawa]

Hi.
I do believe that these feelings are normal and represent a strong intention to ctb.
I think there comes a point when we enter the acceptance stage of our death and begin to question what we will experience at this time.Anybody would be scared realistically but also excited.
Without sounding like too much of a lune,
and starting other afterlife thread when we already have one ,i feel that in the moment of death - it will not be tunnels of light that we see but a overwelming and pleasent feeling.
When i was in a crisis and so close to drinking SN ,i spoke with my deceased husband who told me that the transition into the next world could be what you chose it to be.Dead people communicate via feelings not words and maybe i was just on the right level of consciousness to hear or im just more crazy than i thought !

I'm glad that was a positive experience for you but that be just above eternal fire for me. I had a psychotic break where I saw ppl dead & alive I never want to see again in life. and it wasn't optional I was strapped in and forced to confront every person... I can't take it anymore

 

[Lara Francis]

Hugs x

 

[throwaway123]

Maybe this is the feeling right before? I hope. I'm so scared of failure to a worse physical condition. I'm pretty sure its nothingness but a tiny afraid of being punished more. How can we trust the universe? I'm babbling now. no one has the answer but the dead

pick a time and date and do it. That's how I plan to do it.

 

[Marawa]

thanks for the advice but I'm in a situation where I may not have that kind of free will soon.

 

[throwaway123]

thanks for the advice but I'm in a situation where I may not have that kind of free will soon.

then you need to do it before you lose that option.

 

[Marawa]

then you need to do it before you lose that option.

Exactly which is why I'm so panicky which doesn't help but thanks for listening. Kindness is so rare sometimes

 

[FallingOut]

My heart goes out to you. I spent a lot of time going between DC and Baltimore. To be honest I miss it. I shouldn't of taken that job transfer because shit has taken one hell of a turn. Even though some might not agree, but taking LSD made me believe in something after. A reset somewhat, somewhere, a new you.. I don't believe in nothingness because you can't experience nothing.

 

[agreement]

Maybe this is the feeling right before? I hope. I'm so scared of failure to a worse physical condition. I'm pretty sure its nothingness but a tiny afraid of being punished more. How can we trust the universe? I'm babbling now. no one has the answer but the dead

First (hugs)

I've been in your position in my latest attempt, everything was crumbling and I was forgetting how to breath, talk or swallow, this was a couple of years ago.

But in my latest serious dry run/almost attempt of two weeks ago, I was totally calm and I wasn't feeling nothing, a single simple step from doing it and there wasn't any weight on my shoulders or grey yarn around my limbs ("I'm trudging through this grey, woolly yarn. It's clinging to my legs. It's really heavy to drag along." from Melancholia by Lars Von Trier).

I'm not giving you an advice, but telling you that also this unfortunately is normal and part of reality and not necessarily final.

Unfortunately we won't know what have been really final because fortunately we'll be dead by then.

 

[BlackDragonof1989]

Aw I am sorry you're in such pain hugs you warmly

 

[Marawa]

thank you all for your responses. You really may not realize how kind understanding words mean when I'm going through this. I hope it is a bridge to peace.

 

[Addy92]

I've lost my mind. Sometimes you have to lose everything I guess. I was a steonh person but I couldn't even drink N

 

[Marawa]

I've lost my mind. Sometimes you have to lose everything I guess. I was a steonh person but I couldn't even drink N

I'm sorry your in that much pain where you even considered it. For all of us. I'm raw inside rn I know (think) I would in a heartbeat but if you can hold on to anything good or pleasurable I hope you never do

 

[Dead beat dad]

Maybe this is the feeling right before? I hope. I'm so scared of failure to a worse physical condition. I'm pretty sure its nothingness but a tiny afraid of being punished more. How can we trust the universe? I'm babbling now. no one has the answer but the dead

Hello brother. I feel your pain and am sorry that you're tangled in such a riddle.
I have been emersed in madness and honestly it is a strange, terrible and frightening thing.
For me actually therapy helped with this, but it was the act of decompression in sharing that eased the immediate madness.
Lots of understanding brothers and sisters here friend, myself amongst them for you to vent your spleen, free from judgement.
Good luck friend, I hope you find peace.
DBD

 

[Marawa]

Hello brother. I feel your pain and am sorry that you're tangled in such a riddle.
I have been emersed in madness and honestly it is a strange, terrible and frightening thing.
For me actually therapy helped with this, but it was the act of decompression in sharing that eased the immediate madness.
Lots of understanding brothers and sisters here friend, myself amongst them for you to vent your spleen, free from judgement.
Good luck friend, I hope you find peace.
DBD

thank you. It really is a wonderful place & I wish we had our own island. Life is cruel but much easier with caring ppl. I've really had no where to decompress living with ppl that are just miserable hateful relatives that are trying to put me away. I'm 51! not 81.
They play on my anxiety disorder ptsd triggers purposely then ....its a madness they are sicker mentally than me. I swear I struggle & do need help but not what they're petitioning for.....
well even though that doesn't sound very happy I feel some sense of relief no one maybe going through exactly the same but at least sharing it with others is a release

 

[Lara Francis]

then you need to do it before you lose that option.

I agree.