I blocked all my IRL friends on my phone

[ScorpiusDragon]

The only people I haven't blocked are online friends from this SS forum and r/SuicideWatch on Reddit. All my online friends are depressed and suicidal, like me.
I came to the realization that none of my IRL friends really care. Most of them distanced themselves after I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation a year ago. If I died, they probably wouldn't even know until a very long time after the event. My online friends would notice my absence sooner than my IRL friends. If I committed suicide, my IRl friends would probably say, "She should've reached out," even though they were the ones who distanced themselves and/or ignored me when I was alive.
It might sound strange, but after I blocked all my IRL friends, I finally feel free.

 

[inconsequential]

I understand. I've never felt more free than deleting all social media, changing my phone number, and not giving it out.

When people don't even try to understand, don't even WANT to, why torture yourself by remaining around them? It's toxic.

 

[Deleted member 1496]

Yeah, it's amazing how a weight is lifted: you don't get down because of the way they act, react, respond or bail; you don't have to read, understand, or figure out how to deal with them; and you don't feel anxious or depressed because you will have to encounter them soon. It's like a whole bunch of additional issues you don't have to consider anymore.

 

[bayarea]

Yeah I can relate, I feel like most people are friends with you if you fit in with their personality and the way they talk, but once you're depressed and don't have energy to talk, they move on.. kind of. it's really hard to be happy and fit in, and some people might say things to make you feel better if you are really close friends, but others just ignore you and leave you out of the group.. its almost like you're not their friend anymore and it's more of a chore to make people feel better
This is why I dont really talk to anyone in real life about anything that happened in the past, depression and bullying and talking about your struggles seem more of a taboo topic than something you can talk openly about, even with your friends
I dont feel like I can talk to anyone irl about suicide, if I talk with my friends it'll be really awkward and taboo, and i've heard stories about people being sent to the ER for suicidal thoughts and charged for a fee afterwards
It's difficult to pretend that things are alright, but roleplaying helps for me (I try to pretend to be social and happy, but it doesnt last long, but i dont really talk much to people anymore and I have a few friends)
But anyway I hope things turn out better for you no matter what decision you make :( ..

 

[Severen]

Makes sense. One thing great about the internet is you don't have to wear a mask 24/7... And this allows you to find people who will make better friends for you on the internet than the people in your real life.

 

[Empty Smile]

I haven't deleted all my irl friends.... It's not like they call me or text me to see how I'm doing....

Sigh...... Life is a bitch....

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

I haven't deleted all my irl friends.... It's not like they call me or text me to see how I'm doing....

Sigh...... Life is a bitch....

Well mine won't call or text me to see how I'm doing, unless they need something. So I don't think they'll even realize they've been blocked.

 

[Empty Smile]

Well mine won't call or text me to see how I'm doing, unless they need something. So I don't think they'll even realize they've been blocked.

I have three people in my phone who are online friends, and they are the only ones who text me. 2 of them don't know I'm suicidal, and I'm afraid if I mention it to them, they'll just drift away like the rest of them.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

I have three people in my phone who are online friends, and they are the only ones who text me. 2 of them don't know I'm suicidal, and I'm afraid if I mention it to them, they'll just drift away like the rest of them.

All my online friends are depressed and suicidal. On the one hand, it's nice to have people who understand, but on the other hand, I'm always living in fear that one day, they'll commit suicide. I realize they've been suffering for a long time, but the selfish side of me doesn't want them to die.

 

[Empty Smile]

I realize they've been suffering for a long time, but the selfish side of me doesn't want them to die.

I have the same feelings for a lot of the friends I have met here. But I know they need it as much as I do.

 

[not_a_robot]

This whole thread is a good testament to the joy that's possible to be found in Schizoid personality "disorder".
The fact that social people can't comprehend my love of isolation only makes me love it more.

 

[Alchemist]

No need to block them for me, nobody talks to me anyway.

 

[Severen]

No need to block them for me, nobody talks to me anyway.

Lucky bastard. I get phone calls from scam artists in India who want to talk to me, every fucking day.

 

[WinterIsComing]

I recently blocked my family...

 

[FionaWR]

I recently blocked my family...

I blocked my sister as she was arguing with me about changing sex. Doesn't sit right in my head. It's genetics. You can't suddenly become 60 but you can change sex? I'll unblock her when things calm down I guess.

 

[puppy9]

Sadly irl friends are like social medias.No more the human touch, just mindless sheep. But religion can be considered the archaic version of social media.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

Lucky bastard. I get phone calls from scam artists in India who want to talk to me, every fucking day.

maybe you can fuck with them and assume a different persona every time they call you.
"Hey Kevin. I'm so sorry things didn't work out between us, but I really think we are better off as just friends. You're a great guy, and I'm sorry I broke your heart, but I think it's better if we see other people."

"Mario's Pizzeria. How may I help you today?"

That's what I'd do at least...it would give me a good laugh

 

[Jen0804]

Hugs

 

[Empty Smile]

I recently blocked my family...

I need to do this.

 

[anonusername]

I am going through an extreme period of isolation so I can relate to many of the sentiments in this thread. I used to have a very active social life, I would reach out pretty often to spend time with people I wanted to be around. I stopped reaching out and realized they never really cared enough to reach out to me. Occasionally I'll get a text or something, but it's very rare. Basically stuff like 'oh cool, you're still a human being on the planet' type conversation. I don't really fault them for living their own lives or being busy, but I did come to the realization that they valued me much less than I valued them. Harsh reality when it hits you.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

All my online friends are depressed and suicidal. On the one hand, it's nice to have people who understand, but on the other hand, I'm always living in fear that one day, they'll commit suicide. I realize they've been suffering for a long time, but the selfish side of me doesn't want them to die.

I strongly relate to that. Finally I think the best solution would be to catch the buw altogether.

 

[HGL91]

I am going through an extreme period of isolation so I can relate to many of the sentiments in this thread. I used to have a very active social life, I would reach out pretty often to spend time with people I wanted to be around. I stopped reaching out and realized they never really cared enough to reach out to me. Occasionally I'll get a text or something, but it's very rare. Basically stuff like 'oh cool, you're still a human being on the planet' type conversation. I don't really fault them for living their own lives or being busy, but I did come to the realization that they valued me much less than I valued them. Harsh reality when it hits you.

So true. All through high school, I had a core group of best friends. Every year, I'd host a holiday cookie and games party with the same 4 female friends, and I was always the one planning outing for us to do after school on weekends. I finally came to the same realization that I was always the one making the bigger effort, so I was like," I'm just not gonna plan stuff anymore and I'll wait for them. Surely they'll miss the fun eventually and make an effort." They never did.

Oh and that was 9 years ago. Since then, I have only had long term boyfriends, and then acquaintances I've met up with through Friend Making Apps like Meetup and Hey! Vina. And those only last like a week of knowing each other....

It really IS a harsh reality!