Venting I blame the people around me

[HappySisyphus]

I know it's not their fault, but sometimes I just can't avoid blaming others for not noticing how bad I feel, or not helping, it honestly feels like they just don't care, my mom once saw my cuts and asked me if I did them, I just said no and she believed me, and she never brought it up again, my friends who don't know about how I feel most of the time never even begin to fathom that there could be something wrong with me, and they ones who know there is just seem to don't care, one of them just stopped answering my messages and continued to post stuff to her instagram after I told her that every day I cry myself to sleep and want to kill myself.
I know it's not their fault, I'm not their responsibility, they don't owe me nothing, and my problems are mine and mine only, if anything i'm the one to blme for feeling like this, but it still hurts despite everything and I just can't avoid putting the blame on them sometimes, even though I don't want to.