Venting I believe i top the charts of people who suffer the most on this earth

[CPY]

Seriously I believe I'm way up there in the chart of suffering as I believe severe ocd is the most debilitating mental illness only behind psychosis.Even then I've seen plenty of psychotic, depressed people who manage well with current treatments while ocd is completely refractory to all treatments.Eapecially my kind of ocd that is all-encompassing and not specific

I believe people who suffer more than me are the ones with permanent quadriplegia or something you know when you can't even move a finger to type on your phone

All I see is around is happy people, I call them folks who have it good because they are always mindlessly happy and never seem to run into any problem in life

I've only ever been decently well for 5 years in my life which were my highschool years

Also I seem to be "blessed" with an above average SI that makes me afraid of death even thought my life is torture

The future is bleak for me if I don't CTB.im supported by my parents in a country with little welfare and a broken economy many people like me end up on the street so it's only logical to imagine that is going to be my future if I don't manage to CTB

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be really torturous what you go through, it certainly is so hellish how assisted suicide isn't legalised even know there is no limit as to how much one can suffer in this existence.

 

[CPY]

Oh and I also happen to have an autistic brother that I should support like how's this even legal they should pay me to be alive

 

[Hotsackage]

I have it to, and ur not wrong

 

[Argo]

I don't doubt you feel horrible, and that's another tragedy in this place. The fact is that topping the charts is a very high bar with 8 billion people, then factor this into the potential for cruelty. And that's actually a good thing in a sense, because it means that you can appreciate the fact that you are likely not one of the people who are suffering the most on earth. If you were, this world would be a worse hell than it is.

Being grounded to the reality of suffering can both cause suffering but also relieve it. Our world needs to constantly broadcast propaganda about how much better this place is vs. how it actually is, and this doesn't actually protect people's mental health, it contributes to suffering by giving this "grass is greener" effect. Just look at the fairy tales you're hit with on social media-- this doesn't inspire you, it just makes you feel like you're especially broken. We can easily fall into this trap that tons of people are having great lives-- they aren't. Letting go of this fantasy brings a small amount of peace because it relieves cognitive dissonance between how you feel vs. how the world actually is. Misery in this world is way, way higher than we can intuit, and we spend our lives blind to the worst horrors that happen on a daily basis.

 

[CPY]

I don't know topping the charts might be an hyperbole but I still believe I'm way up there.The relentless ocd the depression that stems from it the fact that I'm a eternal college freshman the society I'm in the people around me

It seems like god himself is against me

I believe I'm made to work a highly skilled job but my illness drags me down to such a point that I'm supposed to take useless jobs for mindless happy NPCs who are content with being worked to the point they wither away and then die anyway

I will never be like that I envy them for being happy, unaware and so living in bliss

 

[MyLuckyStars]

weirdly enough i always found it comforting to picture myself as the most miserable being on earth. made me feel cool for not shotgunning my cranium. back in high school id visualize it almost like a super power, where if i transferred my feelings to someone else they'd instantly rope. id walk around town and look at some random guy, and be like "if i had the power to transfer it all into that guys head, his fuckin eyes would shoot out of his head and his brain would fly out his ears. like a microwaved egg, or the climax of that movie scanners". sort of a pompous jackass attitude no doubt, but if it helps keep you kicking then its fair game. "if you aren't fighting dirty..."

 

[CPY]

weirdly enough i always found it comforting to picture myself as the most miserable being on earth. made me feel cool for not shotgunning my cranium. back in high school id visualize it almost like a super power, where if i transferred my feelings to someone else they'd instantly rope. id walk around town and look at some random guy, and be like "if i had the power to transfer it all into that guys head, his fuckin eyes would shoot out of his head and his brain would fly out his ears. like a microwaved egg, or the climax of that movie scanners". sort of a pompous jackass attitude no doubt, but if it helps keep you kicking then its fair game. "if you aren't fighting dirty..."

I used to see it in a similar way too like it's weirdly empowering or something lol
Then it got real bad and this coping mechanism stopped working

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

A lot of people who look happy are just playing an act. You would never know unless you get to know them well when they are alone.
Everyone has high SI it only gets lower when you can't continue living anymore

 

[Darkover]

Suffering is not a competition and people need to stop acting like it is.

Different people have different mental illnesses and different circumstances which have caused them pain.

I have schizophrenia and I don't look at someone with anxiety, depression, or bipolar and say "well I've been through more than you, I suffer worse you don't know what it's like" because that's entitled as hell. They might not understand fully what I experience (schizophrenic understands a bit more of it), but I also don't fully understand what THEY feel either. It doesn't make their suffering any less difficult. Pain and trauma is NOT A COMPETITION. Everyone with mental illness hurts. You're not above anyone else's diagnosis just because the severity and symptoms differ. But even in the same mental illness severity and symptoms differ.

I don't look at someone with traumatic life events different than mine and see my problems as being more than theirs or that they've "got it easy" and no one else should see others that way either. If it hurts you, it hurts you. IT'S NOT A COMPETITION.

Point is, everyone suffers. Quit comparing your suffering to others as if they aren't allowed to feel horrible because you view their circumstances as being "easier" than yours.

 

[Argo]

Suffering is not a competition and people need to stop acting like it is.

Different people have different mental illnesses and different circumstances which have caused them pain.

I have schizophrenia and I don't look at someone with anxiety, depression, or bipolar and say "well I've been through more than you, I suffer worse you don't know what it's like" because that's entitled as hell. They might not understand fully what I experience (schizophrenic understands a bit more of it), but I also don't fully understand what THEY feel either. It doesn't make their suffering any less difficult. Pain and trauma is NOT A COMPETITION. Everyone with mental illness hurts. You're not above anyone else's diagnosis just because the severity and symptoms differ. But even in the same mental illness severity and symptoms differ.

I don't look at someone with traumatic life events different than mine and see my problems as being more than theirs or that they've "got it easy" and no one else should see others that way either. If it hurts you, it hurts you. IT'S NOT A COMPETITION.

Point is, everyone suffers. Quit comparing your suffering to others as if they aren't allowed to feel horrible because you view their circumstances as being "easier" than yours.

I know this is inspired as a response to my post, and I actually fully agree with you. I don't think the fact that OP isn't at the very top of suffering on Earth, somehow diminishes the fact that they are for certain suffering, and it is again tragic. My point with that post really was just to stress 1) the truth, and 2) that's it's a very good thing that OP isn't in the top sufferers on Earth. I think people who basically are only interested in downplaying someone's pain just because someone has it worse, are terrible people. That is not what I was doing, just to clarify in case there's more confusion. Someone getting violently abused, is still horrible regardless if someone was violently abused a thousand times more than them.

 

[CPY]

Suffering is not a competition and people need to stop acting like it is.

Different people have different mental illnesses and different circumstances which have caused them pain.

I have schizophrenia and I don't look at someone with anxiety, depression, or bipolar and say "well I've been through more than you, I suffer worse you don't know what it's like" because that's entitled as hell. They might not understand fully what I experience (schizophrenic understands a bit more of it), but I also don't fully understand what THEY feel either. It doesn't make their suffering any less difficult. Pain and trauma is NOT A COMPETITION. Everyone with mental illness hurts. You're not above anyone else's diagnosis just because the severity and symptoms differ. But even in the same mental illness severity and symptoms differ.

I don't look at someone with traumatic life events different than mine and see my problems as being more than theirs or that they've "got it easy" and no one else should see others that way either. If it hurts you, it hurts you. IT'S NOT A COMPETITION.

Point is, everyone suffers. Quit comparing your suffering to others as if they aren't allowed to feel horrible because you view their circumstances as being "easier" than yours.

I don't believe it's a competition but I still think it's important to establish who is and isn't suffering.Its just not true that we're all suffering I believe this to be a bordering pro life statement, I've always been told that we're all suffering in this world so one should manage to go on regardless.Most people are not suffering either because they are blissfully unaware shells or they are high functioning individuals.I call them folks who have it good(it sounds better in my native language)because that's what I believe they are

Even when it comes to illnesses not every illness brings the same amount of suffering with it, you wouldn't say a common cold is as bad as quadriplegia or schizophrenia.Even within the same illness different degree of functionality bring higher or lower suffering. SUFFERING IS NEVER EQUAL

It feels invalidating to me when it it said that people who have high functioning member of society suffer the same as me.Also I don't understand why everyone takes it so personally when a simple truth like this is stated as I'm not invalidating anyone's struggling or decision to CTB

A lot of people who look happy are just playing an act. You would never know unless you get to know them well when they are alone.

Also I find this untrue, there only so much act one can put up with suffering eventually seeps in if you really are suffering...always.I can see it in their faces the people who are suffering always shows it one way or another either with their sunken face or depressed attitude suffering seeps through everything

 

[hopeless08]

Seriously I believe I'm way up there in the chart of suffering as I believe severe ocd is the most debilitating mental illness only behind psychosis.Even then I've seen plenty of psychotic, depressed people who manage well with current treatments while ocd is completely refractory to all treatments.Eapecially my kind of ocd that is all-encompassing and not specific

I believe people who suffer more than me are the ones with permanent quadriplegia or something you know when you can't even move a finger to type on your phone

All I see is around is happy people, I call them folks who have it good because they are always mindlessly happy and never seem to run into any problem in life

I've only ever been decently well for 5 years in my life which were my highschool years

Also I seem to be "blessed" with an above average SI that makes me afraid of death even thought my life is torture

The future is bleak for me if I don't CTB.im supported by my parents in a country with little welfare and a broken economy many people like me end up on the street so it's only logical to imagine that is going to be my future if I don't manage to CTB

I've had ocd as well all my life, it comes and goes and in different forms and different levels of severity. When it's really bad it is definitely a handicap preventing you from living a normal life.
Although this is not the reason of why I want to end my life, I do acknowledge that it is hell.
I don't think anyone should say or think that they are suffering more than other people because unless you are in their shoes and actually experience the level of pain they are in, you can't possibly know.

 

[hibikikyuxx]

Suffering is not a competition and people need to stop acting like it is.

This.

 

[stuckinthemud]

Suffering is not a competition and people need to stop acting like it is.

Different people have different mental illnesses and different circumstances which have caused them pain.

I have schizophrenia and I don't look at someone with anxiety, depression, or bipolar and say "well I've been through more than you, I suffer worse you don't know what it's like" because that's entitled as hell. They might not understand fully what I experience (schizophrenic understands a bit more of it), but I also don't fully understand what THEY feel either. It doesn't make their suffering any less difficult. Pain and trauma is NOT A COMPETITION. Everyone with mental illness hurts. You're not above anyone else's diagnosis just because the severity and symptoms differ. But even in the same mental illness severity and symptoms differ.

I don't look at someone with traumatic life events different than mine and see my problems as being more than theirs or that they've "got it easy" and no one else should see others that way either. If it hurts you, it hurts you. IT'S NOT A COMPETITION.

Point is, everyone suffers. Quit comparing your suffering to others as if they aren't allowed to feel horrible because you view their circumstances as being "easier" than yours.

100% agree with you. Couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[CPY]

Well whatever you're all free to believe what you like I don't have the strength nor energy to engage in useless fighting with people who won't try to understand my point.This was labeled as "venting" for exactly this reason.I don't believe I'm wrong or "entitled"(the fact that this word has become an insult is beyond me)to vent my frustrations for suffering pains unimaginable to most people