I believe I have fallen in love.

[venua]

I don't understand it. Why? What's so different this time around? You're bad for me and I know it, and yet I'm still so attracted to you. I hate spending time with you as I know my time is limited. Every interaction I have with you is soul crushing. Why must we bond and share time? You know I'm not going to be around for much longer. But oh darling, I will stay for you if you wish. Though I know it wouldn't matter to you. For you I am just sexual pleasure. I'm good, am I not? It's clear you're atleast somewhat interested in me, right? Or maybe you're just playing hard to get.. Either way I want you. I will settle for wishful thinking.


Even when I feel so happy, my desire for death still haunts me. Weighing over my head. I'm in love with you, sweet death.

 

[hi-okbye]

i related to this so much..

 

[figurehead]

I relate to that in a contradictory way. I was lucky enough to meet and marry my husband. He's been through everything a person married to a bipolar can expect. We've got a 14 old daughter and I'd do the world for her. Still when I have my bouts of depression or despair I flip and say (and mean it) I'm going to ctb. I know one day I'll slip through the net and just go.