Venting I attempted to CTB and it made my isolation even worse

[DepressedEgg]

I don't have any friends. That's a large part of why I want to die. I live with 4 other people who I thought were my friends, but over the summer they made it clear that actually I'm the odd one out in this house. After a rough few months I decided a couple of weeks ago I needed to CTB. I took a knife into the bathroom and cut my wrists (I know, I know, inefficient method, but I don't have many options and I've managed to cut pretty deep in the past). Unfortunately, it turns out my knives are blunt, so I didn't manage to do anything more than scratch myself up pretty bad.
I thought my housemates would be understanding, sympathetic maybe - I figured I could turn to them for help or something. Instead, they all judged me and got mad at me for being selfish. And the last few weeks they've not been talking to me, I almost feel like I succeeded and I'm just a ghost in my own house. I hate it, and I've thought about trying again multiple times but I now know I can't, I'd just fail again.

 

[Fangarina]

I don't have any friends. That's a large part of why I want to die. I live with 4 other people who I thought were my friends, but over the summer they made it clear that actually I'm the odd one out in this house. After a rough few months I decided a couple of weeks ago I needed to CTB. I took a knife into the bathroom and cut my wrists (I know, I know, inefficient method, but I don't have many options and I've managed to cut pretty deep in the past). Unfortunately, it turns out my knives are blunt, so I didn't manage to do anything more than scratch myself up pretty bad.
I thought my housemates would be understanding, sympathetic maybe - I figured I could turn to them for help or something. Instead, they all judged me and got mad at me for being selfish. And the last few weeks they've not been talking to me, I almost feel like I succeeded and I'm just a ghost in my own house. I hate it, and I've thought about trying again multiple times but I now know I can't, I'd just fail again.

Why do you live with these people, what are the circumstances? Can you move out?

I think living in circumstances like this will be so much more isolating than actually living alone. You are aware people are there but are technically not.
I'm sorry your circumstances are so rubbish. Is this the main reason you want to CTB? Would changes in your life maybe help this a little?

 

[swankysoup]

Your housemates sound horrible wtf

 

[DepressedEgg]

Your housemates sound horrible wtf

Why do you live with these people, what are the circumstances? Can you move out?

I think living in circumstances like this will be so much more isolating than actually living alone. You are aware people are there but are technically not.
I'm sorry your circumstances are so rubbish. Is this the main reason you want to CTB? Would changes in your life maybe help this a little?

Unfortunately, I don't really have any better options. I'm locked into this contract until June, and after that I don't actually know where I'd go. I could go back into randomly-allocated student accommodation, but last year I had a pretty bad experience with one of the housemates I got assigned (he was real bad with boundaries and would get drunk and flirt, aggressively). Not to mention, it was hard enough for me to move in here this year, let alone moving out again. I just feel like I don't have anyone I can rely on in my life.