Venting I am weighing down my family

[melonpan]

My family is too good to me, they love me unconditionally, I have friends albeit I haven't talked to most of them in awhile…
I have per I love, I have a nice home, I enjoy desserts and sweets pretty frequently, I have fun
Yet, it's because of how spoiled I am that I think I should die. I keep saying "I'll:save more money" or "I'll get a job" and what am I doing? Watching videos. I don't even want to go to my classes because I don't feel like it. So, in a nutshell, I'm suicidal because I'm lazy and I don't want to work hard, still trapped in a pampered child's mindset. I wish I wasn't born.
If I die now, I can't take back all the effort my parents put into me, so, I wish I wasn't born.
Why do I even want to die? I'm starting to get confused by my own hypocritical comments circling back and forth. I don't know, I just want to die, to end it, why? Even if I find success, I just want to die, don't know why snymore

Ua

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

You can still change it. Everyone can change no matter their age, circumstances etc, you merely have to want it, and you do or you wouldn't be making a thread about it

This is about mindset. Changing your mindset can happen, it takes time but it can! A lot of hard work and perseverance and you'll be a different person (in that respect).

Check out things online, there's plenty of self help there this is about you making a change. No one doing it for you. Being independent and doing it yourself like the adult you can be

Best of luck!

Remember, things take time. You'll have blips in the road, and that's ok, but it's important to remind yourself "shit happens. Just a bad day, tomorrow is a new day" it really doesn't matter. Because the more you feed shit and feel sorry for yourself, the more you won't do anything about it, and you'll get stuck in a rut again.

Best to do as above, it has really helped me be there for myself and realise it isn't the end of the world if I have a bad day or two, I'm only human. Life can be up and down, that's totally normal. But changing your mindset to go with it helps too or you'll be fucked for life. It helps you cope with things. Life can suck, but it's important to learn to cope better

 

[blankfairy]

Don't let it eat you up, it's your life you don't have to prove anything. To work hard is kind of a capitalistic chant, because hard working people are actually not respected. The reality is, the people who bring income are respected. Look at it this way, people who love unconditionally is also work, you don't even know how much work you are already putting in.
Adulting is tough, but it's makeable.
I know I'm hopemaxxing here, but everything is possible until there is a dead person, if the one door closes another opens.
I wish you all the strength, and that your suffering will decrease bit by bit