I am unlovable and I am finally going to kill myself

[FireFox]

All I ever wanted was to be loved my a man and for me to love him back. I have gone through my entire life never having a guy take an interest in me. I have the natural confidence to talk to people and genuinely do take an interest in people but still no guy ever cares. Its hurts going through life seeing other women getting flowers and chocolates on valentines day from their boyfriends, having a man see them as special and so much while all my life guys treat me awfully even from birth I got male rejection from my father. That was sign all along I was born to be rejected by me.

I am 26 years old, never had a boyfriend, still a virgin and I realise I am unlovable. I will never be that man's special woman. I am finally going to kill myself because I am not going through another decade of this life long hell.

 

[Wyldfyre4948]

Love can hurt more than anything. My wife that I've been with for nearly 22 years left me 3 weeks ago. The void I have without her here is massive. I still love her and I'm not able to stop. She says she isn't coming back and has done plenty of damage since leaving. My wife even told me I'm a good husband but this isn't what she wants anymore. So I've been left broken and don't want to go on.

Love is a very dangerous thing because it lets people get very close. So if they just up and leave you feel empty. I'm very sorry that you haven't experienced love, but there is the risk of heartbreak as well.

 

[xXAJBXx]

23 male here. I'm sorry your going through. I may not understand from the female perspective. But I understand the human perspective.


Rom-coms go from slight chuckle to uncontrollable sorrow. Seeing other couples show PDA just gets the blood boiling, being a hallmark movie star becomes the seemingly dream job.
It's fucking brutal.

Mental health, trust issues, and so many other variables to plentiful to list leave me feeling similar way. Knowing you'll never be the reason someone wakes up in the morning and smiles. Never be the one they spend all day waiting on to get home just because they want to see you again.

While there isn't anything that can really fill that void, talking about it with someone (frankly I've found strangers to be the best option) helps stall the despair for a little while.

Best wishes.

 

[enough of this]

All I ever wanted was to be loved my a man and for me to love him back. I have gone through my entire life never having a guy take an interest in me. I have the natural confidence to talk to people and genuinely do take an interest in people but still no guy ever cares. Its hurts going through life seeing other women getting flowers and chocolates on valentines day from their boyfriends, having a man see them as special and so much while all my life guys treat me awfully even from birth I got male rejection from my father. That was sign all along I was born to be rejected by me.

I am 26 years old, never had a boyfriend, still a virgin and I realise I am unlovable. I will never be that man's special woman. I am finally going to kill myself because I am not going through another decade of this life long hell.

Would you consider another HALF a decade? You still have a very good chance of finding your special partner, especially since you're only 26 years old. I'm sure you're attractive and have a lot going for you. I'm curious to know what resources you've investigated to see what might underlie your circumstances. Have you talked with a counselor? You're welcome to Private Message me. I would enjoy hearing from you. In any event, I hope whatever choice you make will bring you peace.
A Big Hug To You.

 

[IIDARKIISHIKARI]

I'm a 31 year old guy that's has been cheated on in (no joke) every relationship I've ever been in except my current one. I'm now due to be married next year but me and her have been I'm a rocky place recently (its a very long distance relationship). I'm afraid that if it happens again that I am done with love and life. It gets to the point where some days the anxiety of it all falling apart hardly makes it seem worth it. Either way you'll find someone. I never thought I'd be In the situation I'm in but here we are. I'll say if I can do it so can you.

 

[Misfit72]

I'm very sorry to read your account - people go on about how being an 'incel' is a man thing but the person who coined the term was actually a woman who was in a similar position to you.

Unfortunately, we're bombarded by our media with ideas of what it is to be normal, what kind of relationships we should have and when, and are made to feel isolated and lonely if we don't conform to those norms. And for the record, I've felt the same way about loving a woman and having her love me back, but it isn't all it's cracked up to be, and certainly not worth you killing yourself over at your age. No man is worth you doing that to yourself.

I didn't have my first relationship with a woman until my late thirties, and when I met her, she was still a virgin in her early thirties, and there was nothing wrong with her being one at that age, just as there is nothing wrong with you being one at yours now. While I wasn't still a virgin by then, that was only because I'd paid for sex, and that makes me feel even worse than still being a virgin would. Consider your virginity something to hold on to, and the taking it from you as a privilege that a man has to earn from you, not as a stigma or a handicap.

Speaking a man nearly twice your age (yikes!) who considers his life over, I am very sad to learn about you've been feeling, not only because I can relate to some of it myself but also because you seem to be basing the value of your life on your worth to men. You're worth more than that. Much more.

 

[hellispink]

One will never get someone to love us if we don't have the minimum love or respect for oneself. Its cliche but its the truth. If you dont even see yourself worth it then how will uou know if someone is respecting you or using you etc. Needing people in this case a guy and wanting to give on some many things , is that really what ur heart wants? Don't you know that those couples in social media or in the streets are fake as f? full of lies cheating screaming and fake ass relationships. Wake up we dont live in a bubble of flowers and rainbows . Relationships are horrible and society makes you think you need one. But relationships only make your life worse. Ehy? Because humans are broken imagine two broken no self esteem people together, a catastrophe. In any case is thats all your life revolves around a guy, then There is always guys willing to be with you. Reflect on yourself maybe you have attitudes or something is driving people away. Not all the time is the other people sometimes its ourselves we put limitations we create in our heads and avoid taking responsibility.

 

[busybee]

I am sorry that you are going through that.
I felt the same for years. Everyone was setting down while I was still living with my parents. Many friends only talked to me when they had relationship issues and it was lonely. Many times we went our their SO came along and they were lovey dovey.
My "single-ness" was at a point that my mom suggested I just go and have a one night stand to get over with it. For a while they thought I was closeted. I am demi but for them the ace umbrella doesn't really exist. Each day I got scolded for the lack of a grandchildren for them. "you don't need a partner, just a pregnancy" mom said.
I got my first partner and lost my V-Card at 25.
It is tough and I sometimes would prefer being single.
Boyfriends are like teenagers. Prioritizing playing with friends (unless they get horny). Lowkey expecting you to mother them and clean up after them. I have to make hecking dentist apponintments for mine cause he won't.
Any romance, flowers and even dates stop the moment they are sure they got you in the bag.
I got mine for nearly 3 years and I can count on my hands how often he took me out without me pressuring him or it being my birthday.
It is like having a needy, teenage roommate that ignores what you say and gives unpleasantly wet kisses (our dogs give kisses more dry) and has you still rely on toys to get off but now you gotta pee on a stick when you are late and freak out.

 

[Jolene79]

It's so sad to read this. I am mid 40s and seriously don't care at all about a guy anymore. It was all I cared about at your age. It's very stressful the pressure of this on young people. Most people I really believe aren't as happy as you believe in their relationships. It's just a fear of being alone. The flowers and all that - this is just the rubbish you see on Facebook and tv. Did you ever see the programme on Netflix about the husband who murdered his entire family when he got a new younger girlfriend. On FB,the wife presented the most amazing life and love story. Deep down he was a psychopath and killed her. You'd never see that coming based on how amazing and loved up they seemed on FB.

I wish you could see you're so much more than some guys partner. You can find connection and love in other places. But I understand it's hard to hear me when you're still so young. If I could go back to my 26 year old self I'd really make her see this.

 

[Coldpizza22]

Same situation, I'm just a 21 yo student. Never been in a relationship before, i just talked to a girl from my area online and she rejected me bcs i was "too young" (one year difference). The loneliness hurts alot, i still jabe a little bit hope left, but not much.

I took a girl out on a date, but got no response after, i think that means it done. If you're an avarage looking woman, just make a few dating app profiles and you'll get a lot of guys. Some better than other, you'll just need to pick through the pile.

 

[Bioforever12]

I am 23 and in the same position, I have tried to workout, and i'm not overweight or anything but it doesnt matter. I am unlovable and the only romance I have had are romances I play in my head from platonic friends that clearly dont give a shit about me. I just want to die at this point as clearly every girl i've talked to irl only seems to want that is an athletic and more attractive then me or not interested in ever dating. This world isnt designed for someone like me so clearly ending it is the best option.

 

[Stormy Raine]

I'm sorry you are feeling this way so I'm sending you a big virtual hug! Have you tried dating sites? I met a few good men on dating sites years ago and it could have worked out but it always ended with them wanting me to move with them. You are still young there is still time, don't give up, keep trying. I bet you will find a wonderful man 1 day and he will be madly in love with you and you will look at this point and see sometimes it takes time before you find the right one. Best wishes to you, I hope he finds you soon!!

 

[𖣂𖣂𖣂.]

All I ever wanted was to be loved my a man and for me to love him back. I have gone through my entire life never having a guy take an interest in me. I have the natural confidence to talk to people and genuinely do take an interest in people but still no guy ever cares. Its hurts going through life seeing other women getting flowers and chocolates on valentines day from their boyfriends, having a man see them as special and so much while all my life guys treat me awfully even from birth I got male rejection from my father. That was sign all along I was born to be rejected by me.

I am 26 years old, never had a boyfriend, still a virgin and I realise I am unlovable. I will never be that man's special woman. I am finally going to kill myself because I am not going through another decade of this life long hell.

Looking for someone to heal you will never work you have to love yourself before you can love someone. I know it sounds selfish. Comparing yourself to others will never make you happy trying to live up to anyone's standards or because its society's expectations. Your still young. Focus on yourself and you will see people go to you. The energy you make those are the people you will attract.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm the same but 43. Can't say I particularly want someone in my life now- partly because I'm not convinced the reality is very much like the fairy tale- even in good relationships. Still- it does feel sad when we feel like we had the potential to love deeply but it just never really happened.

It could be something that eventually passes for you- honestly, at your age, I was obsessed with the idea of having a relationship. There again- it may not and- there's always the issue of what to fill that gap with. So- I do understand where you're coming from.

For what it's worth- as much as you can really tell about someone on here- I don't think it is you. You come across as a lovely, caring person. So much of it is luck I think. Do you get to meet many men? I'm not into the dating scene- never have been. Still- I think that's a big part of it- simply meeting enough guys to actually find a compatible one. Do you belong to clubs and things? I think lots of couples meet via a shared interest.

 

[_Alfarooq_]

All I ever wanted was to be loved my a man and for me to love him back. I have gone through my entire life never having a guy take an interest in me. I have the natural confidence to talk to people and genuinely do take an interest in people but still no guy ever cares. Its hurts going through life seeing other women getting flowers and chocolates on valentines day from their boyfriends, having a man see them as special and so much while all my life guys treat me awfully even from birth I got male rejection from my father. That was sign all along I was born to be rejected by me.

I am 26 years old, never had a boyfriend, still a virgin and I realise I am unlovable. I will never be that man's special woman. I am finally going to kill myself because I am not going through another decade of this life long hell.

I always thought women were never having these problems. As a man, I have been suffering worse than this. People everywhere find problems with everything that I do, now matte how much I try to make them happy. Not trying to be a people pleaser.