I am tired of reaching out and people being so cruel whenever i do

[FireFox]

When you are depressed or suicidal people say just reach out. I have reached out and all I get is treated badly and treated like sh*t by people. I made the mistake of reaching out again. I am very open about how I wished I was born with blonde hair and blue eyes as I will be seen as pretty by society and especially men. I want to love my black hair and brown eyes but I just can't. So I asked for advice on the r/babies ladies sub on reddit. My thread is now deleted.

This is what wrote orginally

"I am a 24 year old black woman and I absoultely hate my black hair and brown eyes. I wish i was born with blonde hair and blonde blue eyes because it seen as pretty by society and I feel like men will find me more attractive if I was a pretty blonde woman. Most men prefer blondes look at how they chase after them and look at how popular this hair colour is.

At secondary school I was always the invisible social outsider girl who never had guy really like her. At school I was always naturally confident answering questions in class, speaking at school assemblies and talking to people but I always the invisible girl who never had a guy really like her for who she is. At school all the other girls had guys who liked them and show them love. The black boys at school would make fun of the black girls appearance or just promote stereotypes about black girls and instead want girls from from other racial group. They were just as bad as the white boys. The worst thing about being a black woman is growing up knowing you will never be seen as beautiful by society.

I am still the invisible woman in adulthood.

I absoultely hate my hate colour and eye colour because it is dull and boring compared to other hair colours and eye colours. It is so not fair white people have all these range of eye colours but black people we just have one dull eye colour: brown.

I can not die my hair blonde because I risk permanently damaging my hair. If I could physically change my appearance I get rid of both my black hair and brown eyes because I feel like it has ruined everything for me. My personality will never be enough.

Please help me get over my obsession. "

The women on the sub accused me of being a troll, an awful troll all because I made a thread last month asking if I can be committed feminist while married to a man. I made the thread because my radical feminist criticised my desire to be married.

Other say brown eyes are not dull and I see need see more positive images of black women. All I got was just love yourself and dismissed everything.

Honestly I really thought these people would actually understand but no.

 

[rationaltake]

Sorry you got that response. I hate my appearance for other reasons but I can understand what it's like to hate the way you look. The first step is to acknowledge the difficulty you have. And this is what you're doing.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you went through this. Some people are just so awful and insensitive. Other people can certainly be cruel and can make everything worse. That is why I would rather stay away from them. I wish you the best.

 

[agate]

I can relate , I'm always sad when I see a beautiful woman with platinum blonde hair & bright blue eyes . Same with redheads and their porcelain white skin. But I'm white, so it's achievable at least to some degree.
I feel sad for you that you feel this way. I often think black women and their skin tone is beautiful as well, especially their thick lips and thick hair.
My hair is thinning and I hate my thin lips.
Nobody is ever happy it seems. We all want what we don't have!

Try to see the good in your looks , thick hair/lips ? Your skin tone ?
But no matter what outside aides or words your hear , it needs to come from you , from within to truly hold .
Find a role model possibly ,that that could help ?

 

[Crazy4u]

There have been many trolls and bad reaponses lately. Feel free to report them to the moderators. Noone should be gaslighting suicidal people

 

[LADY007]

When you are depressed or suicidal people say just reach out. I have reached out and all I get is treated badly and treated like sh*t by people. I made the mistake of reaching out again. I am very open about how I wished I was born with blonde hair and blue eyes as I will be seen as pretty by society and especially men. I want to love my black hair and brown eyes but I just can't. So I asked for advice on the r/babies ladies sub on reddit. My thread is now deleted.

This is what wrote orginally

"I am a 24 year old black woman and I absoultely hate my black hair and brown eyes. I wish i was born with blonde hair and blonde blue eyes because it seen as pretty by society and I feel like men will find me more attractive if I was a pretty blonde woman. Most men prefer blondes look at how they chase after them and look at how popular this hair colour is.

At secondary school I was always the invisible social outsider girl who never had guy really like her. At school I was always naturally confident answering questions in class, speaking at school assemblies and talking to people but I always the invisible girl who never had a guy really like her for who she is. At school all the other girls had guys who liked them and show them love. The black boys at school would make fun of the black girls appearance or just promote stereotypes about black girls and instead want girls from from other racial group. They were just as bad as the white boys. The worst thing about being a black woman is growing up knowing you will never be seen as beautiful by society.

I am still the invisible woman in adulthood.

I absoultely hate my hate colour and eye colour because it is dull and boring compared to other hair colours and eye colours. It is so not fair white people have all these range of eye colours but black people we just have one dull eye colour: brown.

I can not die my hair blonde because I risk permanently damaging my hair. If I could physically change my appearance I get rid of both my black hair and brown eyes because I feel like it has ruined everything for me. My personality will never be enough.

Please help me get over my obsession. "

The women on the sub accused me of being a troll, an awful troll all because I made a thread last month asking if I can be committed feminist while married to a man. I made the thread because my radical feminist criticised my desire to be married.

Other say brown eyes are not dull and I see need see more positive images of black women. All I got was just love yourself and dismissed everything.

Honestly I really thought these people would actually understand but no.

As far as your hair goes, I see many very happy black ladies on sites that sell wigs. There are wigs with hairbands and lace front ones that look real. Google the phrase low cost wigs or wig sale, Amazon and eBay have them... They will solve that problem. Hugs!

 

[Looooser]

We all have something we'd love to change about ourselves. I'd love to just have hair no matter what color it is.

In this man's opinion the color of your hair or even the color of your skin isn't even in my top ten list of what I look for in a woman.

When you are depressed or suicidal people say just reach out. I have reached out and all I get is treated badly and treated like sh*t by people. I made the mistake of reaching out again. I am very open about how I wished I was born with blonde hair and blue eyes as I will be seen as pretty by society and especially men. I want to love my black hair and brown eyes but I just can't. So I asked for advice on the r/babies ladies sub on reddit. My thread is now deleted.

This is what wrote orginally

"I am a 24 year old black woman and I absoultely hate my black hair and brown eyes. I wish i was born with blonde hair and blonde blue eyes because it seen as pretty by society and I feel like men will find me more attractive if I was a pretty blonde woman. Most men prefer blondes look at how they chase after them and look at how popular this hair colour is.

At secondary school I was always the invisible social outsider girl who never had guy really like her. At school I was always naturally confident answering questions in class, speaking at school assemblies and talking to people but I always the invisible girl who never had a guy really like her for who she is. At school all the other girls had guys who liked them and show them love. The black boys at school would make fun of the black girls appearance or just promote stereotypes about black girls and instead want girls from from other racial group. They were just as bad as the white boys. The worst thing about being a black woman is growing up knowing you will never be seen as beautiful by society.

I am still the invisible woman in adulthood.

I absoultely hate my hate colour and eye colour because it is dull and boring compared to other hair colours and eye colours. It is so not fair white people have all these range of eye colours but black people we just have one dull eye colour: brown.

I can not die my hair blonde because I risk permanently damaging my hair. If I could physically change my appearance I get rid of both my black hair and brown eyes because I feel like it has ruined everything for me. My personality will never be enough.

Please help me get over my obsession. "

The women on the sub accused me of being a troll, an awful troll all because I made a thread last month asking if I can be committed feminist while married to a man. I made the thread because my radical feminist criticised my desire to be married.

Other say brown eyes are not dull and I see need see more positive images of black women. All I got was just love yourself and dismissed everything.

Honestly I really thought these people would actually understand but no.

Blondes are overrated and there's absolutely nothing wrong with a set of baby brown eyes to get lost in.

 

[Lostandlooking]

Sorry you were misunderstood on reddit. I don't really know what to say. Because I think anybody can be considered beautiful regardless of their hair colour or eyes. But there certainly are beauty standards present in society and people who can't meet these standards do not get the same consideration from the opposite sex. So your right about that. I don't want to oppose you. Just wish you were more happy with your hair and eye colour. Changing your appearance maybe isn't considered ideal but I say do whatever makes you feel a bit better. I liked the wig option. While reading your thread I was thinking of a beautiful blonde black woman; Etta James. I think she dyed her hair.

 

[Belljar]

I think reading some critical race theory on beauty standards would help you.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I'm sorry for what you have had to go through. Society has put in place their standards for what "Beauty" is and most of us just accept it. I have accepted that I will never look like Ryan Reynolds.
I personally love ethnicities other than my own. Who wants Vanilla all the time?
As another poster mentioned, why not try wigs of another color. Not just blonde. I see women that have their hair different colors. Red, Blue, Purple. Sometimes more than one color at once. Not saying you have to go that far.
Since I'm a guy, I don't know how comfortable wigs are but it could be an option.

Just some thoughts.

 

[come to dust]

I can relate to your problem a lot. I am a brown guy and it's so clear how guys of my race are seen as inferior when it comes to dating than the white guys, at least in my society.

It bugs me how we supposedly live in a society with racial equality but behind the scenes, there are clear societal racial preferences and biases that no one wants to talk about.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I can relate to your problem a lot. I am a brown guy and it's so clear how guys of my race are seen as inferior when it comes to dating than the white guys, at least in my society.

It bugs me how we supposedly live in a society with racial equality but behind the scenes, there are clear societal racial preferences and biases that no one wants to talk about.

I know I could say that it's their loss but sometimes it seems meaningless. It's sad that society never changes.

 

[come to dust]

I know I could say that it's their loss but sometimes it seems meaningless. It's sad that society never changes.

They would never see it that way anyway. To certain people, certain racial traits are just not what they care to look for. I am of no value to them.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

They would never see it that way anyway. To certain people, certain racial traits are just not what they care to look for. I am of no value to them.

I hate that. People really need to expand their way of thinking. I don't understand how someone can think one race is better than another. How someone can claim to be a religious person and treat others so terrible if they don't look like themselves.
I want to say more but my thoughts are a mess.

 

[FireFox]

I can relate to your problem a lot. I am a brown guy and it's so clear how guys of my race are seen as inferior when it comes to dating than the white guys, at least in my society.

It bugs me how we supposedly live in a society with racial equality but behind the scenes, there are clear societal racial preferences and biases that no one wants to talk about.

@come to dust Virtual hug my friend
It's not easy being brown. I am just disappointed on the sub because the women on the sub thought I was a troll and others didn't really take seriously how I was feeling.

What hope have I got of things getting better if the people in my OWN racial group can't even take my concerns seriously.

The worst comments were "you have a skewered view of race"
How are my views f*cking skewered when I grew up and saw it all the f*cking time how black girls/women are not seen as attractive by society and just subject to ridicule for our appearance.
The weave jokes, the jokes about our lips, the stereotypes about our attitude etc.

>there are clear societal racial preferences and biases that no one wants to talk about.
Exactly but the women are like that's not true. I do feel like the race I was born in to has ruined my chance of ever finding love or experiencing a man actually finding me beautiful.

There have been many trolls and bad reaponses lately. Feel free to report them to the moderators. Noone should be gaslighting suicidal people

The users thought I was the troll. This is so not fair people post far worse bullsh *t on reddit and it gets taken more seriously. I post a genuine issue but I don't get taken seriously. The same sub has women posting pictures of themselves on their new hair and fashion style.

I am just disappointed on the sub because the women on the sub thought I was a troll and others didn't really take seriously how I was feeling.

What hope have I got of things getting better if the people in my OWN racial group can't even take my concerns seriously.

Looking in the mirror is absolute torture. My family and sometimes strangers in public say I am pretty but they do not see what I see. I absoultely hate my reflection. When I mentioned I am suicidal and abuse laxatives.

I was accused of "weaponising" my disorder and not to do that because it can triggering to the women and girls on the sub.

I am tired of reaching out and always getting treated badly or never taken seriously. All everyone ever does is let me down this is why I started abusing laxatives and purging because at least helped me no longer feel bad about anything anymore. The numbness of purging and laxative abuse is why I will never stop.

Sorry you got that response. I hate my appearance for other reasons but I can understand what it's like to hate the way you look. The first step is to acknowledge the difficulty you have. And this is what you're doing.

@rationaltake
The users thought I was the troll. This is so not fair people post far worse bullsh *t on reddit and it gets taken much more seriously. I post a genuine issue but I don't get taken seriously at all. The same sub has women constantly posting pictures of themselves of their new hair and fashion style.

I really thought I would find a community of people who would actually understand but no. My suicide just feels inevitable because I wanted to be normal with a career and man who loved me. I realise now none of it was meant to be.

I am tired of reaching out in women only online communities and never getting taken seriously if i express any issue bothering me. Young and old women are just as bad each other.

I don't want these feelings, I don't but no one seems actually interested in actually helping me overcome this. Everyone just wants do dismiss, dismiss, dismiss.

I can't win especially in this world.

 

[FireFox]

I can relate , I'm always sad when I see a beautiful woman with platinum blonde hair & bright blue eyes . Same with redheads and their porcelain white skin. But I'm white, so it's achievable at least to some degree.
I feel sad for you that you feel this way. I often think black women and their skin tone is beautiful as well, especially their thick lips and thick hair.
My hair is thinning and I hate my thin lips.
Nobody is ever happy it seems. We all want what we don't have!

Try to see the good in your looks , thick hair/lips ? Your skin tone ?
But no matter what outside aides or words your hear , it needs to come from you , from within to truly hold .
Find a role model possibly ,that that could help ?

@agate I have been the invisible woman all my life it has absolutely destroyed my confidence and literally broken me.

When I was child I had friends who want same primary school as me and I was really happy as I had so much fun with them. When I went to secondary school most of my friends from primary school went to different secondary schools except for one friend.

The friend who ended up going to the same secondary school as me she ended up getting a boyfriend and after that I didn't see her again after that. She found some friends and spent time with her boyfriend and pretty much stopped hanging out with me. I also made friends with another girl in school who used to wear glasses and was seen as geeky and weird. She got a makeover and people began to notice her. She changed and stopped hanging out with me.

Just seeing the girls in my class have boyfriends or have boys like them it was like everyone was growing up and moving on with their lives and I was just the odd one out.

When i was a teenager the tv shows and the films I would watch would feature teenage romances, women's also talked mainly about intimate relationships. I just felt like the odd one out because being relationship in your teens is just the norm.

Never having a relationship I feel like I have missed out on so much and never really grew as woman

 

[CelestialGoddess]

When you are depressed or suicidal people say just reach out. I have reached out and all I get is treated badly and treated like sh*t by people. I made the mistake of reaching out again. I am very open about how I wished I was born with blonde hair and blue eyes as I will be seen as pretty by society and especially men. I want to love my black hair and brown eyes but I just can't. So I asked for advice on the r/babies ladies sub on reddit. My thread is now deleted.

This is what wrote orginally

"I am a 24 year old black woman and I absoultely hate my black hair and brown eyes. I wish i was born with blonde hair and blonde blue eyes because it seen as pretty by society and I feel like men will find me more attractive if I was a pretty blonde woman. Most men prefer blondes look at how they chase after them and look at how popular this hair colour is.

At secondary school I was always the invisible social outsider girl who never had guy really like her. At school I was always naturally confident answering questions in class, speaking at school assemblies and talking to people but I always the invisible girl who never had a guy really like her for who she is. At school all the other girls had guys who liked them and show them love. The black boys at school would make fun of the black girls appearance or just promote stereotypes about black girls and instead want girls from from other racial group. They were just as bad as the white boys. The worst thing about being a black woman is growing up knowing you will never be seen as beautiful by society.

I am still the invisible woman in adulthood.

I absoultely hate my hate colour and eye colour because it is dull and boring compared to other hair colours and eye colours. It is so not fair white people have all these range of eye colours but black people we just have one dull eye colour: brown.

I can not die my hair blonde because I risk permanently damaging my hair. If I could physically change my appearance I get rid of both my black hair and brown eyes because I feel like it has ruined everything for me. My personality will never be enough.

Please help me get over my obsession. "

The women on the sub accused me of being a troll, an awful troll all because I made a thread last month asking if I can be committed feminist while married to a man. I made the thread because my radical feminist criticised my desire to be married.

Other say brown eyes are not dull and I see need see more positive images of black women. All I got was just love yourself and dismissed everything.

Honestly I really thought these people would actually understand but no.

I have to be honest and say that I do understand what you are saying. I've heard other stories about black women always being put down for their race, even men of the same race. Black men are racist towards their own women: it's so sad.
You seem to seriously be handling the situation pretty well. It seems like a lot to take in to deal with this kind of image about yourself. I understand how you would feel so upset when you look at your white peers having people like them while you're left out.
However, is it true that you will NEVER be seen as beautiful by society? Maybe you haven't met the right people... As a white girl myself, I think black women are really beautiful, and white people aren't too much in the lead of black women in my opinion. At this point, I think you really only have the choice of improving your appearance and body language. Being fit, wearing some makeup, flattering clothing, perfume, delicate body language, friendly, good posture (posture is SO important), etc. could possibly help you. If you have that image of yourself in your mind, you probably display it and let it manifest in some kind of form, pushing people a lot farther away. If you improve your confidence and work on your appearance from what it is, I can imagine that more people would be drawn to you. And honestly, if you act super confident (good posture and head held up), you'll make a huge presence and people will notice and like you more. I guess those are my thoughts.

 

[agate]

I think reading some critical race theory on beauty standards would help you.

You're joking right ? CRT has to be the most racist tripe out there. Only created to try to divide us, an age old divide and conquer technique.
It makes whites feel bad for being white and other races feel like they're 'lesser' and 'unfortunate' for being another race and anything bad that happens is because of their race!?

 

[Brianiskillingme]

I am very tired of trying and reaching out. No matter what I do, its wrong.

 

[indica]

When you are depressed or suicidal people say just reach out. I have reached out and all I get is treated badly and treated like sh*t by people. I made the mistake of reaching out again. I am very open about how I wished I was born with blonde hair and blue eyes as I will be seen as pretty by society and especially men. I want to love my black hair and brown eyes but I just can't. So I asked for advice on the r/babies ladies sub on reddit. My thread is now deleted.

This is what wrote orginally

"I am a 24 year old black woman and I absoultely hate my black hair and brown eyes. I wish i was born with blonde hair and blonde blue eyes because it seen as pretty by society and I feel like men will find me more attractive if I was a pretty blonde woman. Most men prefer blondes look at how they chase after them and look at how popular this hair colour is.

At secondary school I was always the invisible social outsider girl who never had guy really like her. At school I was always naturally confident answering questions in class, speaking at school assemblies and talking to people but I always the invisible girl who never had a guy really like her for who she is. At school all the other girls had guys who liked them and show them love. The black boys at school would make fun of the black girls appearance or just promote stereotypes about black girls and instead want girls from from other racial group. They were just as bad as the white boys. The worst thing about being a black woman is growing up knowing you will never be seen as beautiful by society.

I am still the invisible woman in adulthood.

I absoultely hate my hate colour and eye colour because it is dull and boring compared to other hair colours and eye colours. It is so not fair white people have all these range of eye colours but black people we just have one dull eye colour: brown.

I can not die my hair blonde because I risk permanently damaging my hair. If I could physically change my appearance I get rid of both my black hair and brown eyes because I feel like it has ruined everything for me. My personality will never be enough.

Please help me get over my obsession. "

The women on the sub accused me of being a troll, an awful troll all because I made a thread last month asking if I can be committed feminist while married to a man. I made the thread because my radical feminist criticised my desire to be married.

Other say brown eyes are not dull and I see need see more positive images of black women. All I got was just love yourself and dismissed everything.

Honestly I really thought these people would actually understand but no.

society is broken and upholds too many broken men.
i am a 25 year old native american woman. i have dark brown hair and brown eyes. i see you.
i get treated badly when i reach out to people. i get treated like sh*t even when i do not reach out to people.
most men only see my body. they choose to ignore every other aspect of me. they may find me attractive, but it will never be enough to treat me with respect. it will never be enough to see me as an equal.
demographically, reddit users are primarily white and male. they have never had to live in this world as a woman of color. they are unlikely to understand.
i recommend intersectional feminism.

 

[g0921]

I absoultely hate my hate colour and eye colour because it is dull and boring compared to other hair colours and eye colours. It is so not fair white people have all these range of eye colours but black people we just have one dull eye colour: brown.

Same, but I am Asian... And I have freckles (which is a BIG flaw in East Asian standard, so I grow up with parents constantly tell me how ugly I am).
More unluckily daily make up is also not an opinion for me, or I will get an endless acne problem instead.
Absolutely jealous of my fellow Asians that with pale skin color, and of course white girls.
No offense to healthy tan or dark skin tone, I think they look like Goddness. Tho I am a Goth and that is just not for me.

Those telling us "just to love yourself" is bs.
It sucks being invisible, It sucks seeing the beautiful girls getting special treatment all the time and I would never experience the same in this lifetime :(

 

[Zegers]

People say to love yourself but how can you do that if you don't like yourself? I suffer a disability and simply can't be okay with that. Im very short and i cant be okay with that.
I understand what it's like to not feel good in your skin because you don't feel the way you should be in some way, it's like being born in the wrong physique.

I've also been socially invisible and it drag to hell your self-confidence.

Not feeling good sucks.

 

[Hollowillow]

When you are depressed or suicidal people say just reach out. I have reached out and all I get is treated badly and treated like sh*t by people. I made the mistake of reaching out again. I am very open about how I wished I was born with blonde hair and blue eyes as I will be seen as pretty by society and especially men. I want to love my black hair and brown eyes but I just can't. So I asked for advice on the r/babies ladies sub on reddit. My thread is now deleted.

This is what wrote orginally

"I am a 24 year old black woman and I absoultely hate my black hair and brown eyes. I wish i was born with blonde hair and blonde blue eyes because it seen as pretty by society and I feel like men will find me more attractive if I was a pretty blonde woman. Most men prefer blondes look at how they chase after them and look at how popular this hair colour is.

At secondary school I was always the invisible social outsider girl who never had guy really like her. At school I was always naturally confident answering questions in class, speaking at school assemblies and talking to people but I always the invisible girl who never had a guy really like her for who she is. At school all the other girls had guys who liked them and show them love. The black boys at school would make fun of the black girls appearance or just promote stereotypes about black girls and instead want girls from from other racial group. They were just as bad as the white boys. The worst thing about being a black woman is growing up knowing you will never be seen as beautiful by society.

I am still the invisible woman in adulthood.

I absoultely hate my hate colour and eye colour because it is dull and boring compared to other hair colours and eye colours. It is so not fair white people have all these range of eye colours but black people we just have one dull eye colour: brown.

I can not die my hair blonde because I risk permanently damaging my hair. If I could physically change my appearance I get rid of both my black hair and brown eyes because I feel like it has ruined everything for me. My personality will never be enough.

Please help me get over my obsession. "

The women on the sub accused me of being a troll, an awful troll all because I made a thread last month asking if I can be committed feminist while married to a man. I made the thread because my radical feminist criticised my desire to be married.

Other say brown eyes are not dull and I see need see more positive images of black women. All I got was just love yourself and dismissed everything.

Honestly I really thought these people would actually understand but no.

I couldn't agree more about the first part. Doctors & repair men abandon me to my toxic home, Gaslighting me...

But I couldn't agree more with trying to find a way to love yourself.

I wish I was a tall man instead of a tiny girl. I understand.

Yes you can bleach your hairs, it will ruin them but they will go back. Yes you can wear blue contacts. But it will irritate your eyes & prevent proper oxygenation.

You can even cover your skin in pink and get surgery to fix your african nose, like michael jackson.

Does it sound like love to you or self loathing?

I assure you, the blond girls aren't loved. They're used as sex doll trophy. They aren't loved for who they are. They atteact creeps, pedo, rapists, they're the nazi perfection.

I saw a movie, i think it was the secret. A black woman said that she didn't have a black role model growing up, only whites, and she couldn't relate to someone who didn't look like her. But as she grew, she learned to love her chocolate skin & pompom afro. She was glowing with self love, serenity, and attractive.

I think black men go for blond girls because they are a status symbol. I wish africans embeaced their culture and promoted it as cool (like tamtam parties on my mountain) instead to try to immitate white people's superficial crap. So many anorexics... So many girgeous red hairs and dark goddesses ruined by bleach to confirm to hitler's idea of beauty.

Please... Embrace your unique beauty. I'm sorry that high school kids are shalliw with a twisted idea of what is desirable... Try to hold on until people mature ..

Learning self love and making the best of our natural features is best.

I wish I had red hairs... And health...

Please don't try to please the majority. True love will see who you are and bond over interests. The blond babes will always have to wonder if the guy only wanted a trophy.

When you find someone, he won't seek a superficial girl from a porno... He'll be into pure african chocolate.

That's your flavor and it's okay. It's harder to find someone but it will be more genuine and precious.

I think you can be a feminist & married. You can work while he's a stay at home dad. Or enjoy a traditional wedding but by choice, not by being impised a role as a woman.

We cannot choose what we look like. But we can choose to have compassion for our unique bodies. We can envy without hating ourselves. We can wish without shame. I do my best not to dwell too much on it. I grew my dark thin ugly hairs super long and it's kinda cool. I'm almost blind so I'm just happy to have eyes at all. I don't dwell on not having perfect vision too much. I'm just happy that I didn'to become fully blind as I was told I might...

There are things far more important than color. Kindness, affection, compatibility, hobbies in common...

The world is so racist against you .. please don't internaluze the bullshit... Please don't be racist against yourself

Dress as a white blond blue eyed girl for halloween. I think it will be fun, silly, a taste of a dream... But shouldn't be everyday.

I think diversity is far more important than confirmity.

I think that what you really want is to be loved. Not be a white slut. So until people mature... At least try to love you for you?

I think your dreams & sorrows are valid. But the problem isn't your color... But people going for a visual steteotype... Instead of truly getting to know the person.

If you cannot play the superficial conformity game of white people... I'm so sorry that you feel left out... But I think it's a bad game. In the long run you'll have more fun creating your own way of life.

I have a hard time accepting my crippled body. I desperatedly envy your healthy brown body... Beat their game of never being good enough trying to go towards self acceptance?

I am replying to you. Not some perfect slut. I wouldn't change it. I prefer you.

@come to dust Virtual hug my friend
It's not easy being brown. I am just disappointed on the sub because the women on the sub thought I was a troll and others didn't really take seriously how I was feeling.

What hope have I got of things getting better if the people in my OWN racial group can't even take my concerns seriously.

The worst comments were "you have a skewered view of race"
How are my views f*cking skewered when I grew up and saw it all the f*cking time how black girls/women are not seen as attractive by society and just subject to ridicule for our appearance.
The weave jokes, the jokes about our lips, the stereotypes about our attitude etc.

>there are clear societal racial preferences and biases that no one wants to talk about.
Exactly but the women are like that's not true. I do feel like the race I was born in to has ruined my chance of ever finding love or experiencing a man actually finding me beautiful.

The users thought I was the troll. This is so not fair people post far worse bullsh *t on reddit and it gets taken more seriously. I post a genuine issue but I don't get taken seriously. The same sub has women posting pictures of themselves on their new hair and fashion style.

I am just disappointed on the sub because the women on the sub thought I was a troll and others didn't really take seriously how I was feeling.

What hope have I got of things getting better if the people in my OWN racial group can't even take my concerns seriously.

Looking in the mirror is absolute torture. My family and sometimes strangers in public say I am pretty but they do not see what I see. I absoultely hate my reflection. When I mentioned I am suicidal and abuse laxatives.

I was accused of "weaponising" my disorder and not to do that because it can triggering to the women and girls on the sub.

I am tired of reaching out and always getting treated badly or never taken seriously. All everyone ever does is let me down this is why I started abusing laxatives and purging because at least helped me no longer feel bad about anything anymore. The numbness of purging and laxative abuse is why I will never stop.

@rationaltake
The users thought I was the troll. This is so not fair people post far worse bullsh *t on reddit and it gets taken much more seriously. I post a genuine issue but I don't get taken seriously at all. The same sub has women constantly posting pictures of themselves of their new hair and fashion style.

I really thought I would find a community of people who would actually understand but no. My suicide just feels inevitable because I wanted to be normal with a career and man who loved me. I realise now none of it was meant to be.

I am tired of reaching out in women only online communities and never getting taken seriously if i express any issue bothering me. Young and old women are just as bad each other.

I don't want these feelings, I don't but no one seems actually interested in actually helping me overcome this. Everyone just wants do dismiss, dismiss, dismiss.

I can't win especially in this world.

I feel so much for you... It breaks my heart that everyone compliment you but you still only see a monster in the mirror. Why ... Who made you feel this way ...

Making yourself vomit & poisonning yourself to poop... To feel empty inside... Eating vitamin c stuff like veggies is the best laxative i ever got.

I wish I had the words to convince you to give mercy to yourself. Imagine your husband or child hating themselves the way you do no matter how much you say I love you they'd refuse to believe you...

Please... Please... Try to have self compassion. The problem is society narrow mindedness. So many blong & blue eyes girls feel like shit never feeling good enough to fit the steteotype. Please... Create your own unique flavor... The world needs it.

 

[freedompass]

I couldn't agree more about the first part. Doctors & repair men abandon me to my toxic home, Gaslighting me...

But I couldn't agree more with trying to find a way to love yourself.

I wish I was a tall man instead of a tiny girl. I understand.

Yes you can bleach your hairs, it will ruin them but they will go back. Yes you can wear blue contacts. But it will irritate your eyes & prevent proper oxygenation.

You can even cover your skin in pink and get surgery to fix your african nose, like michael jackson.

Does it sound like love to you or self loathing?

I assure you, the blond girls aren't loved. They're used as sex doll trophy. They aren't loved for who they are. They atteact creeps, pedo, rapists, they're the nazi perfection.

I saw a movie, i think it was the secret. A black woman said that she didn't have a black role model growing up, only whites, and she couldn't relate to someone who didn't look like her. But as she grew, she learned to love her chocolate skin & pompom afro. She was glowing with self love, serenity, and attractive.

I think black men go for blond girls because they are a status symbol. I wish africans embeaced their culture and promoted it as cool (like tamtam parties on my mountain) instead to try to immitate white people's superficial crap. So many anorexics... So many girgeous red hairs and dark goddesses ruined by bleach to confirm to hitler's idea of beauty.

Please... Embrace your unique beauty. I'm sorry that high school kids are shalliw with a twisted idea of what is desirable... Try to hold on until people mature ..

Learning self love and making the best of our natural features is best.

I wish I had red hairs... And health...

Please don't try to please the majority. True love will see who you are and bond over interests. The blond babes will always have to wonder if the guy only wanted a trophy.

When you find someone, he won't seek a superficial girl from a porno... He'll be into pure african chocolate.

That's your flavor and it's okay. It's harder to find someone but it will be more genuine and precious.

I think you can be a feminist & married. You can work while he's a stay at home dad. Or enjoy a traditional wedding but by choice, not by being impised a role as a woman.

We cannot choose what we look like. But we can choose to have compassion for our unique bodies. We can envy without hating ourselves. We can wish without shame. I do my best not to dwell too much on it. I grew my dark thin ugly hairs super long and it's kinda cool. I'm almost blind so I'm just happy to have eyes at all. I don't dwell on not having perfect vision too much. I'm just happy that I didn'to become fully blind as I was told I might...

There are things far more important than color. Kindness, affection, compatibility, hobbies in common...

The world is so racist against you .. please don't internaluze the bullshit... Please don't be racist against yourself

Dress as a white blond blue eyed girl for halloween. I think it will be fun, silly, a taste of a dream... But shouldn't be everyday.

I think diversity is far more important than confirmity.

I think that what you really want is to be loved. Not be a white slut. So until people mature... At least try to love you for you?

I think your dreams & sorrows are valid. But the problem isn't your color... But people going for a visual steteotype... Instead of truly getting to know the person.

If you cannot play the superficial conformity game of white people... I'm so sorry that you feel left out... But I think it's a bad game. In the long run you'll have more fun creating your own way of life.

I have a hard time accepting my crippled body. I desperatedly envy your healthy brown body... Beat their game of never being good enough trying to go towards self acceptance?

I am replying to you. Not some perfect slut. I wouldn't change it. I prefer you.

I feel so much for you... It breaks my heart that everyone compliment you but you still only see a monster in the mirror. Why ... Who made you feel this way ...

Making yourself vomit & poisonning yourself to poop... To feel empty inside... Eating vitamin c stuff like veggies is the best laxative i ever got.

I wish I had the words to convince you to give mercy to yourself. Imagine your husband or child hating themselves the way you do no matter how much you say I love you they'd refuse to believe you...

Please... Please... Try to have self compassion. The problem is society narrow mindedness. So many blong & blue eyes girls feel like shit never feeling good enough to fit the steteotype. Please... Create your own unique flavor... The world needs it.

Great response, you said what I wanted to say. It really is tragic what so many girls and young women go through. I was a second wave feminist in the late 70's and early 80's. We thought we were changing society and moving beyond all of this! Only to discover that if anything, young people are even more self conscious of artificial beauty standards than they were back then! Look at SnapChat, what an abomination, those ghastly false lashes YouTubers feel they have to wear, just, whyyyy. Beauty filters, ugh. Everything is exaggerated and sooo fake. For the record FireFox I was one of those blonde girls with blue eyes. It made me a great target for stalkers and creeps. I ended up getting a buzz cut and becoming a lesbian for a few years. Hollowillow said it perfectly and you can hear the passion in their words. Being blonde and blue eyed does not make you more loved! It makes you a 'better' sex object, ah that's great. Black or brown people are probably the most dominant group in the entire world numbers wise. It's just a colour that says nothing about who you are as a person.

 

[brokensea]

I'm not sure where you live but moving to an area with more diversity there is a bit less of this.

You are beautiful and the world is wrong. We still live in a backwards time and era. We have not evolved much. It's just human stupidity and exclusion and make believe things that aren't real about what makes you beautiful or not. You are beautiful and perfect. It's hard not to believe it's you but it's not you. There is nothing wrong with you. It is this crazy, insane, screwed up world that is completely and utterly wrong to ever make you feel as less than anything but the beautiful person you are.